There are plenty of gems among the whopping list of legal disclaimers at the end of Dance: UK's manual. "The mat should be used on a flat surface," for instance. "Keep away from wet flooring." Okay. "Do not use with high heels." Yeah, cheers. Oddly, though, Big Ben Interactive, who thinks you're stupid enough to play Dance: UK in stilettos on a rainy hill, hasn't bothered to include the most important advice of all - *be careful not to have a coronary during play*.

In an effort to stand out from its main competition (Konami's Dancing Stage series), Dance: UK includes two major innovations. The first is karaoke, with the deluxe edition of the game coming complete with a headset mic. The second is the ambitious eight-way pad, and it's this innovation that could send you to an early grave.

Even on medium difficulty, there's a bewildering array of arrows to contend with, and the diagonal arrows expand the combinations so that the whole thing feels a bit more, well, like dancing. But by the time you get to Expert mode, the game is challenging you to hit three or four pads at once - using your hands, natch - which is more like playing hyper-speed Twister than dancing!

The eight-way system also forces Dance: UK's arrows to emerge from the middle of the screen instead of floating up it. This should be more intuitive, but it doesn't always give you enough time to react. Combined with vague feedback on how you're doing (arrows disappear in puffs of smoke, and the Good/Perfect/Miss advice appears on the bottom of the screen where you can't easily see it), the experience doesn't feel as polished and precise as its Konami competitor.

Where Dance: UK scores big points is in the tuneage on offer. Considering the goldfish-memory turnaround of pop, some of the songs are slightly outdated - Gina G, Five and Sophie Ellis Bextor seem a bit Woolie's bargain bin. Thankfully, they've propped up with chart-fodder (Mis-Teeq, the Sugababes, Daniel Bedingfield) and a few timeless classics (Rappers' Delight, It's Like That) in the selection of fifteen licensed tunes. Of the dozen game-specific tunes, four are corkers, seven are okay and only one's a bit arse. They all come in their full glory, too - dancing your way through the entire game takes a good half-hour's concerted effort, (though you can save after every three auditions).

From the pink box to the upbeat announcer, Dance: UK's laser-targeted at twelve-year-old SM: TV gans. Still, there's plenty to enjoy for everyone else, just as long as you're prepared to ignore the final safety precaution. "Those under the influence of alcohol should not use the controller"... but where's the fun in that?

Graphics 30%
Functional. No shine and a lot of purple.

Sound 70%
Crystal-clear, but the karaoke mode ain't great.

Gameplay 70%
Varied, difficult, and utterly exhausting.

Lifespan 50%
Better tunes than Dancing Stage, but worse gameplay.

Overall 60%
Like Gareth Gates and slumber parties? You'll probably love this. Otherwise, it's a housewarmer only.