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Not since the "see-ya-later-alligator, in-a-while-crocodile" hep '50s has anyone tried to make green reptiles trendy. They just weren't cool. But now Empire are trying to challenge the stereotype with their latest platform-hopping, block-butting heroes - Punk and Funk. Despite their names, the attempt at cool falls down with the plot. Y'see, Punk and Funk are in love with the same woman, the independently-minded Daisy Crocette - or should that be Coquette? Daisy simply can't make up her mind which of the toothsome twosome to curl up with. Eventually, having decided that love isn't for her, smart Daisy runs off to a crockery. Hmmm.

Completely failing to get the hint, Punk and Funk chase after her. But Daisy just keeps on running; she's got a lot of stamina - it takes 60 levels for the Kriss Krosses of the croc world to catch her. 60 levels? Sounds great, eh? Um, sort of. If anything, this number of levels is perhaps a little too much when you have to go back to the very beginning whenever you die. Argh! Sheer hell, that's what it is. The idea behind Cool Croc Twins is pretty simple in theory. All you have to do is wander around the edge of the screen, jump onto platforms and headbutt blocks which light up when you hit them. Oh, and you have to avoid what look like incredibly nasty little heads with teeth.

If that was all there was to Cool Croc Twins it'd be an OK, if rather uninspiring, little game. Unfortunately, Empire have gone for a terrible control mechanism. Punk and Funk move around the edge of the screen, clockwise or anti-clockwise. Problems begin when they walk upside down - as crocs do - and it all becomes a bit confusing. They can also zoom sideways to butt blocks, hit nasties in mid-air and pick up bonuses.

At first a lot of the screens look completely impossible because the light-blocks are cordoned off by various obstacles. But there's always a way although it usually takes a couple of attempts before you work out how to complete a screen. This isn't too bad, but combined with the if-you're-dead-go-back-to-the-beginning rule gets incredibly tiresome. The last straw is the way your health/life/whatever-crocs-have is decimated whenever you bump into nasties. Sometimes they're so hard to see you find yourself wandering into them without even realising it. The easiest way to deal with this is to try and kill them, but it just takes up so much time.

If you've got the patience to sit through the same screen countless times, then Cool Croc Twins could be fun. The two-player option looks like it might be better than the lone croc mode. Then again, maybe not.

The best thing about this game is the way you can make your croc zoom across the screen sideways, bashing into baddies and bonuses. It's a far more appealing way to pass an afternoon than playing the actual game. As for the sound, well, for the character's names you think you're in for an aural treat. Instead, your ears are assaulted by the sort of muzak that gymnasts choose for their routines. Punk and Funk, indeed.

1. Nigglingly annoying reptilian platformer. If this was addictive, it'd be ace. But, erm, it isn't. Disappointing sound and graphics.