Who wouldn't give up everything they had to become a barbarian? As the 1982 film proclaimed, there's something about the elegance found in violence, the peace of walking without fear and the spirit to look into the face of god before he comes for you.
While Conan's Xbox adventure isn't technically brilliant, it manages to place you firmly in his camel-skin boots through brutal bloodletting, flashy swordplay and entertainingly cheesy dialogue.
You'd have thought the bad guys would have learned not to mess with Conan's family, but this adventure begins with their massacre by a Vulture cult. Vowing revenge, our hero searches for three ancient artefacts that can give the Vultures a magical plucking.
In the hack 'n slash tradition, you walk from room to room while notching up a body count worthy of a Schwarzenegger flick. What lifts this above fare like Enclave and Gladiator is that the range of
killing techniques is impressively high while still fun and engaging to learn.
Experience points are earned for killing enemies, letting you unlock around 60 special moves. Each attack also has three levels of accuracy and damage to attain. Some of the high-level combos are excellent fun. In one sequence, Conan punches his foe in the face before lifting him up and slamming him down on the cold, unforgiving earth. There are even double-takes from the Conan movie, including breaking a foe's helmet with the hilt of your sword and swinging the mighty blade around as a hurricane of steel.
Another incentive to play through is that the levels are graphically varied and often very pretty, albeit they're mostly A to B affairs with few side-routes to explore.
Consistent use of bump-mapping makes the textures look gorgeous and soft-body effects make undergrowth writhe to life as you push through. Sadly, the heroes and villains don't look anywhere near as impressive. The nubile princess's face resembles Bernard Manning while Conan fares only slightly better.
The real-time camera is another unwelcome distraction. While it's often helpful to have a camera that follows you, this one often obscures your view by getting stuck behind walls. There's also the frustrating problem that running into the camera reverses the directions on your movement stick. Jump animations are also slightly glitched.
Overall though, there's more high adventure than abject boredom, making Conan a decent hack 'n' slash. Ask yourself this: what other game lets you punch a camel in the face? By Crom, it's worth it.