1st May 1988
Wheelies (Micro Selection)
What a dreary piece of software this is and no mistake. Guide the sickeningly cute Eugene [I don't remember him like that! - Ed] or Tarkus through seven horizontally-scrolling levels, negotiating the maze-like terrain, avoiding or destroying cute nasties and collecting fellow Wheelies to complete the game.
If it wasn't so slow and uninteresting and it didn't resemble a mediocre Shoot-'Em-Up Construction Kit creation, Wheelies would be a neat little game. But it is and it does and it most certainly isn't.
Tangent (The Micro Selection)
This horizontally scrolling shoot-'em-up has been lying around for some time but has only just seen the light of day, courtesy of The Edge's busiest label. Why? Well, it's easy to see when you play it.
Despite many neat bits, such as great graphics, pretty sexy parallax scrolling and mean mutha ships, Tangent offers little more than a ho-hum run-of-the-mill blast. That said, you can do worse for three quid. So don't, get this instead.
Osmium (The Power House)
Hoo hoo, a-ha a-ha... ah. I like this game. It's funny. The fact that it's an extremely poor Delta rip-off makes it even more chucklesome. Yes, Osmium is a horizontally scrolling progressive shoot-'em-up. Actually, make that regressive. As you fly over the instantly forgettable landscapes, shooting the silly aliens and collecting extra weapons via Delta-esque icons, the screen wobbles up and down. What a laugh.
Also vaguely amusing (giggle) is the fact that the bullets always disappear about two-thirds of the way across the screen, regardless of your horizontal position. Haha. Oh dear, oh dear. Stop it. Stop it. No no. Whooooo ha ha ha. Ahem. No, Osmium isn't a good game. But it's the best laugh I've had in a long while. Don't miss it.
The Eidolon (Ricochet)
Of the four Lucasfilm titles released by Activision two years ago, The Eidolon was arguably the best. And what a re-release it makes too! Trapped in the labyrinthine corridors of your own mind the prime objective is escape. Make your way through eight levels, collecting crystals and battling strange creatures, including flying fish, nasty hellhounds and huge dragons, to confront the ultimate evil - an enormous seven-headed dragon. Brilliantly atmospheric graphics and sound make The Eidolon an experience not to be missed, doubly so at only two quid.
Aquanaut (The Power House)
No, it's not another re-release of Interceptor's aging underwater exploration game of the same name. The Power House's Aquanaut is a slightly different kettle of fish (ow). Taking control of a submarine (any similarity to the sub in Stingray is entirely intentional) it's up to you to cleanse (ooh) the seas of alien pollution. Cor!
Maybe not - it turns out to be yet another horizontally scrolling shoot-'em-up, and a slow, jerky, flickery one at that.
Don't expect to see this one bubbling under... And if you want a whale of a time, fish elsewhere.
Destruct (The Power House)
Ker-rikey. Another horizontally scrolling shoot-'em-up from The Power House. Another rather poo-er horizontally scrolling shoot-'em-up from the Power House, actually. Destruct is undoubtedly the worst of the bunch. It's funnier than Aquanaut, but only for a couple of minutes. Smirk at the silly sound effects.
Titter when the guy you control's head fall off. Chuckle at the God-awful graphics. Then groan when you realise the joke's on you for bothering to splash out two quid on this junk. Sorry, Power House. But decent quality budget software, this ain't.
The Micro Zone (Compass)
Who are Compass Software? And more importantly, what is The Micro Zone? Well, it's simple. This is one of those home grown jobbies - jobbies being the operative word. Sorry Compass, but this SEUCK-produced shoot-'em-up lacks gameplay. And, worse still, what it lacks in gameplay is more than adequately compensated with too many bullets.
Run up the garden, shooting insects and die a lot. Not exactly a barrel of laughs. The address? Erm, we lost it. Maybe it's just as well...
Ballblazer (Ricochet)
The second of the two Lucasfilm re-releases this month is the vastly underrated and overlooked sport of the future, Ballblazer. It's basically a futuristic football and the atmospheric, high-speed action takes place on a large chequered pitch with moving goalposts at either end.
The objective is to score goals, although this is easier said than done. Instead of players you control a Rotofoil, and for simplicity's sake, forces play a major part in the game. That's really all there is to say, except that it's fast, furious and fun, and worth a flutter at two quid.
Desert Fox (The Power House)
Sydney Developments' Beach Head-style blend of arcade action went down rather well when first released over two years ago by US Gold, and quite rightly so. There's plenty of Boche to bash and WWII-type objects to wipe out, plus a bit of strategy and some brill digitised speech - all from the comfort of your cosy tank on your mission to eradicate Rommel and his forces. One of The Power House's more impressive releases - even if it is a re-release.
Arac (Prism)
Paul O'Malley's nose - erm, arcade adventure - first appeared on the Addictive label almost two years ago and was met with a healthy reception. Unsurprising, as it's rather good. Arac is a droid who has to be guided round a large nos... ahem, flick-screen maze of greenery, in an attempt to capture the many unusual creatures.
Once caught they can be used to help Arac complete the game - an effective and original touch. Good gameplay combined with pretty graphics and virtually no sound make Arac a serious contender for re-release of the month. No(se) problem.
Grog's Revenge (The Power House)
This is a prehistoric re-release based on a caveman's antics and is a CU Golden Oldie. A sequel to the even older Sydney game BC's Quest For Tyres, it features a stunningly silly game and some of the best cartoon graphics to appear on the C64.
Control Grog, a caveman on a unicycle, on his trips around numerous mountain paths collecting... erm, clams. Well we did say it was silly. It's also good fun, with hazards like rocks and boulders, a snot monster and a bad tempered geezer who shouts so loud that poor old Grog flies off his bike in fright. Another candidate for re-release of the month.
If you missed out first time round, snap this up...
Ace (Cascade)
Not so much a flight simulation with some combat thrown in for good measure, but more of an aerial combat simulation with flight simulator overtones. ACE sold gazillions when released at full price, and is no doubt going to sell lots more at a budget price. There's bits of simulation, plenty of blasting and a decent feeling of flight generated.
What's more - there's some missions to keep you busy once you get used to flying around. There are better simulations available, but none at his price, so why not give it a whirl?
Bruce Lee (Americana)
Wowza, what a bargain! This 20-screen platform game-cum-beat-'em-up-cum-arcade-adventure featuring the man himself, Bluce Ree, was generally regarded as pretty damn good when released over three years ago.
Now? Well, it's dated, sure, but it's as playable as ever and not to be missed. Take control of Bruce himself and run around beating up ninjas and the like in an attempt to penetrate the evil wizard's stronghold. Crude graphics, ploppy sound but bags of fun to be had for your Yen.
Bogie's Pick (Top Ten)
The best thing about this compilation from sweety giants Maynard's Top Ten offshoot is the reference to nasal excavation in the title.
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