Otherwise known as 'Elf girls are easy'

The urge was impossible to resist. Not long into Champions: Return To Arms, we were stripping our character - a helpless elven girly - and having her fight goblins in her woolly skimpies. Because we could.

Champions is blunter than a crossbow loaded with broom handles and is aimed squarely at all of your crudest emotions, such as lust and greed. Your single motivation for continuing to hack 'n slash is that something you kill might drop an item that you can sell, wear or hit things with. Hack 'n stack, if you like. Smiting is simple, just hammer X to attack enemies, occasionally blocking with R1 if things get a bit hairy. It's hardly mentally demanding, but the straightforward approach makes it satisfying and instant.

So the action is pleasingly weighty, but it pales like a poisoned elf in comparison to the sublime combat of the two previous Lord Of Rings games. The creatures charging onto the business end of your sword lack any personality - the game is essentially an endless conveyor belt, with you at one end, the level's exit at the other, and a load of beasties in-between. Ultimately, Champions depends on you maintaining a continuous longing for sharper weapons, tougher armour, bigger enemies... Lose your greed (or your lust for naked elves) and you'll lose interest. Needless to say, we're still playing...

Graphics 80%
Lightning-wreathed blades look brilliant.

Sound 60%
Suited to the task, but bare-bones basic.

Gameplay 70%
Simple, unrefined, but still solid fun.

Lifespan 70%
Lots to collect, and online dungeons too.

Overall 70%
Champions won't trouble your thinking box, but it might satisfy your blood lust. Rewarding and enjoyable, in a very simple way.