If you look elsewhere in this ish, you'll find a little feature on where to get your software. If you read it thoroughly, you'll have heard mention of a system called EDOS. If you want the full lowdown on exactly what the EDOS system is, you'll have to turn to that feature (it's in the centre pages), as the next three at this end of the mag are dedicated to some of the more memorable titles in the range.

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D'ya know how some licences are successful on every turn? Alien is one of them - every single version of every single game related officially to the film at some stage or another has been good, and successful because of it. Get hold of this game - it's good (I could do this all day, you know). 85%

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You know they say CF has quite a high female readership (as opposed to the 4 or 5 percent other mags get), so this game is detailed here for the pervs among you girlies. It features a naked blokey, you see, stomping around in a standard platform type thing with a few nicer novel tweaks.

Nudity aside, this is quite a reasonable platform game, the point being to slowly collect more bits and pieces to add to your suit of armour which, when complete, should help you travel through the volcano. 90%

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It's Incredibly Difficult 2, sequel to Incredibly Difficult, which is absolutely any other Dynamic game ever written. As with other titles in the range, it's a nice chrome-coloured romp around a rather odd background, and it's difficult. Really difficult. So difficult, in fact, that it deserves to have 10% knocked off its final rating. It has. 80%

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This little Codies number involves you, a friend, and two all-terrain vehicles. The game itself is a two-player split-screen horizontally-scrolling drive-'em-up, featuring several different landscapes, obstacles, nasties and incredibly tight time limits. If you like the idea of a pitched battle of ATVing skill, this is the game for you, and the graphics, sonics, and general playability of the game only adds to this conclusion. 80%

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What a surprise - another Codies simulator. This time, we're racing BMXs from an overhead point of view. The game allows two players to race, the second player being either computer or person. A word of warning - the computer players are impossible to knock off. In normal circumstances, when you hit someone, the game works out whose fault it was, and they go firing off.

When you collide with a computer player though, they always stay on, and you always fall off, making you just pull into the side and let them pass after a while. Other features include an action replay system, along with several different tracks, so buy it. 85%

Throughout the many different sequels to the original Boulderdash, the whole range were hailed as being truly excellent (as well as quite original to the C64). This is partly because they were truly excellent (as well as quite original to the C64). To this day there hasn't really been a follow-up from any other software houses, and so Boulderdash holds its belt. Had there have been a follow-up, the odds are Dash would still hold its belt.

The Construction Kit only strengthens the game, as when you're bored with playing the game's mazes, you can create some of your own. It's truly excellent (as well as quite original to the C64). 90%

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Oh dear. The prospect of explaining this little number in under one hundred words is scary (that's 16 already). The idea is this: you play the part of Captain Blood, in his biological ship, travelling round the galaxy chasing down his sixteen clones.

You do this by communicating with aliens, careering around planets, blowing them up, killing people and giving birth. Oh dear. 90%

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Sold separately, these two games are a good buy. Bundled together, they make a package you really shouldn't miss. The first game sees you as a witch, journeying around a hostile forest being attacked by bats, animals, foul creatures of the night (Wilf Lunn), and generally having a bad time, trying to fill cauldrons to complete some spell or other.

The second game sees you, still as the witch, as a pumpkin, if you see what I mean, journeying round a castle trying to get restored to your former beauty, and having a thoroughly wonderful time, bouncing more uncontrollably than Dolly Parton on a pogo stick. [What a thought! - Ed] 75%

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An excellent platform-romp type thing. Get it. Now. Pity about the sequel, really. 90%

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The joy of computer journalism is suddenly discovering a brand new game that, though simple in concept, is so amazingly stunning gameplay-wise that you just want to tell the world, and do so.

Let's just say that Count Duckula 2 didn't exactly provoke this reaction. 0%

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There's nothing like getting to the point, is there? Why call your game something original like Alien Breed or Meganoid when you can get straight to the point with Die Alien Slime? Failing that, it could be German, meaning, the German language being as different as it is, The Alien Slime.

Are aliens even slimy? Whatever the weather, it's a reasonable game let down by a few unoriginal game features (such as, for instance, the game itself). 70%

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Every now and again, a truly original game comes along. This is a truly original game, being a cross between a shoot-'em-up, ice hockey, and nuclear physics. It'd take a while to explain, so if someone sends a while through the post I'll do just that. In the meantime, you'll just have to settle for a final rating score. 90%

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That's right - go to EDOS and get your copy of the official RSPB game now. In fact, any high-crested red-chested snow chitty in the vicinity is going to be instantly disintegrated in a hail of rapid gunfire, as this is a WW2 storming-a-fortress type game.

This, unfortunately, makes this game really quite "dredging up the past and havent we given a new generation of nice, friendly Germans quite a bit of stick over one nutter about fifty years ago?" but - hey - I didn't write it. So as long as you don't mind all the racial issues (it's not malicious, anyway!), go out and get it. 90%

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As well as being truly excellent, Raff Cecco games are famous for two other features. The first was being really incredibly difficult. The second was also for being really incredibly different. They pushed back the boundaries of difficulty, you see. Exolon is Cecco's (difficult) horizontal flick-screen platformer, involving your bloke (complete with gun and rocket launcher) journeying across a hostile alien terrain, destroying everything that moves and, er, destroying everything that doesn't. On its own, this game is almost impossible.

With an infinite lives cheat, this is modified to almost impossibly difficult. Buy, buy beware (it's difficult, you see). 80%

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Be an international playboy, jetting round the universe, saving planets, and generally wowing the locals with your fantastic good looks, charm, wit and sophistication. If you add a computer game to this, you get an absolutely wonderful flick-screen multi-levelled platformer, in which you have to defeat any number of aliens, hack a computer, and steal a space ship. Everything about this game means you should run out and get it, so do that small thing. Failing that, you'll find it on a covertape of old! 85%

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Just think - a short walk into town, and you too could play the Jon Ritman classic, with music by Bernie Drummond. You play the separate parts of Head and Heels, on an expedition around various worlds, completing several puzzles, and doing, ooh, all manner of things (I've completely forgotten, you see). Quite simply, this is the definitive isometric game, and it's one you shouldn't miss. 95%

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Practise your wrist action and race horses throwing a ball through the holes in a little piece of wood. To a really irritating theme tune. Alternative Software, this is not the way to make money - this is the way to make any self-respecting reviewer vomit, shorting after butchering small rodents out of anger. 5%

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Some people don't just sit in front of their C64s all day. Some people actually pursue lives outside that of their computer (sounds great up until now, doesn't it?). There are, however, some complete sickos that actually try their hands at, and I say the words with great distaste here, sporting activities. [But Simon, both Ollie and myself engage in said activities. Are we really so bad? - Hutch]

Ladies and gentlemen, people of the jury, I propose we stop this cruel, unnatural and inhumane treatment right now, and get everybody to go out and buy Match Point the tennis game. With its smooth animation, excellent graphics, sonics and gameplay, it's a sure-fire hit. 85%

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Amazing platforming action, with its fair share of fish, feet, and Pa Gumbys. [You forgot to mention the Larch, Simon! - Hutch] If you haven't seen it yet, take a look; if you're as weird as we are, you'll love it.

The game itself is based mainly around the animations from the cult comedy series, so at last you can take part in the pseudo-gruesome action you've known, loved and probably not understood to the great extent. 95%

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Flippin' 'eck - are these no limits? Yepola, this is another amazing game that everyone must own. This one involves climbing up and down towers using the platforms strewn around the outsides, using lifts, doors, zapping baddies, moving blocks, completing puzzles, and catching fish (the whole this has a sort of watery theme). 90%

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Yeeahaa! For all those too dangerous to be let out on the roads, I have the game for you. Postman Pat (the game) seems to have been aimed at kids, seemingly depriving adults from having too much fun. The proper idea is to gently trundle round a village delivering parcels and running errands. When you add a psychotic player, this soon translates into driving round a village in reverse at breakneck speeds, trying the most spectacular driving manoeuvres ever devised by man, hoping in desperation that your cat'll turn up so you can flatten it. 75%

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Another (euch) sports game, this time featuring baseball (funnily enough), and what a sim it is. In fact, as sports sims go, it's got to be one of the best around, featuring a heavily cut statistics section, and an extended game section, with lovely graphics, markings, players, animation, sounds, and, well, it's really good. Thank you, and give us all your lovely money. 85%

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What do you want me to say? The fact that it's based on the Rocky Horror Picture Show pushes this game into the weird category. It's funny though, do you know anyone who's actually seen the film all the way through? It's one of those peculiar ones that you see bits of now and again. 80%

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For some unimaginable reason, the phrase "sad sad sad sad sad people" springs to mind; if you're a depressing enough example of the human species to derive any sort of pleasure from this tat, we truly pity you.

Seriously though, they do say that this is quite a moderate version of poker, but if Sam Fox flaunting her various squidgy bits around is likely to put off your poker face, steer clear. [Speaking on behalf of the silent male majority, I found the presentation of her features a bit off-putting, but if you squint you can make verything out quite clearly. I await your hate mail! - Hutch] 60%

Yes. This is quite simply because we've gone through the EDOS range and picked out some of the best (with a few of the worst for comedy value). If you want us to give you three pages of average games, we quite happily will, but for now we'd rather pick on the more interesting games in the range. More next month, folks!