Commodore User


Card Sharks

Author: Mike Pattenden
Publisher: Accolade
Machine: Commodore 64

 
Published in Commodore User #55

Card Sharks

There are two forms of disreputable entertainment that just don't work on home computers - fruit machines and cards. The thing that links the two, as many reviewers in the past have incredibly astutely pointed out, is that they're both reliant on winning large sums of money. The one add-on these inventive sprocket chaps have yet to devise is a little chute that slots on to the front of your machine which chucks out cash whenever you win something.

This leaves games like Fruit Machine Simulator and Card Sharks with a problem: how do you retain some interest? Fruit Machine Simulator failed to answer on some other form of reward like a curvaceous slapper stripping off. Electronic Arts, not being a grubby mac kind of company have come up with another tack. They sit you in front of a group of characters which you actively loathe for one reason or another.

Once you've decided what game you're going to play (options include poker, hearts or chase the lady and pontoon) you can select who you're going to play against. Characters include Maggie Thatch, Ronnie Reagan, Mickey Gorbachov and a couple of other no marks called Luigi, Milton and Lady. The one thing that all have in common is that they're crude, silly stereotypes. Maggie is frightfully English and stuck up, which she is, but this really doesn't help. Gorby says things like "Russia demands three", when he wants to change cards, whilst Milton is an incredibly laid back nurk with a passing resemblance to Woody Allen. He makes inane comments along the lines of "Like wow" and "Gosh!" They are all, without exception, insufferable when they win.

Card Sharks

The action itself is confined to the table where the cards are dealt and the games won or lost. The characters all look like who they're supposed to look like, but the animation is decidedly dodgy when they pick their cards up. A bizarre elasticated arm snakes out and snaps back into place!

As for the games, they all play fairly straightforwardly, but naturally they all become fairly boring after a while. Another problem is that, when you play poker the cards are dealt randomly. Now any fule knows that you don't shuffle in poker, and that's the way you get some decent hands building up. Not in Card Sharks - most games are won with a pair of two pairs. Not very exciting.

Despite its attempts to be different, Card Sharks falls into the same trap as the rest of the gambling games. After a short while it becomes relentlessly dull. With a price tag like Card Sharks carries, I'm most definitely out.

Mike Pattenden

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