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Dad often says that cricket is the greatest game in the world, and that nobody plays it like the English. I take this to mean that nobody else gets as few runs, gets caught out or leaves the sport to as many fat old men to play as the English.

Cricket isn't the greatest game in the world, anyway. St Dragon or Rainbow Islands is. The only time cricket gets exciting is when one of the balls wallops an unsuspecting pigeon. So there. I'm going home for my tea now [Wait! You haven't finished the review yet, Frames! - Ed].

Okay. World Cricket. Well, what we have here is a sort of management sim, combined with a captain-of-a-cricket-team sim. You select a country to be (Pakistan would seem to be the best bet at the moment!) and then choose your team (which will be made up of real people on the world cricket circuit). Then you decide what sort of a game it'll be (one day, full-test or whatever). You can also, joy of joys, flip a coin and start the match.

And what you see is, er, a scoreboard. You know, like the big confusing ones you see at Lords or the Oval. As you watch, runs are notched up and the wickets fall. Interesting, eh? Well, er, no. It isn't very interesting at all. In fact, it's downright boring. I mean, the idea of a cricket game is to watch the deliveries and to cheer when the ball is dropped by any number of hopeless Yorkshiremen on the boundary. This nonsense continues whoever's batting or bowling. It's completely boring and only just preferable to being forced to make your bed.

If you're a cricket fan, run away, change your name and live in another country for 30 years, pretending to grow carnations rather than go within 200 yards of this game. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.

Rather than buying this game, tie several strips of tin-oil to a Gloster Meteor and convince the clergy to open a building society account for you in the name of Jehovah.