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Ye Gads, it's a Spectrum game - tiny, squelchy sounds and two colour graphics. If any of you recognise the screenshot of this game it's because it was previously a full pricer that went under the name of Freddy Hardest In South Manhattan. (Would you buy it with a name like that?)

The aim here is to travel through five levels (supposedly Lower East Side streets but more like Bristol docks) and beat the living daylights out of sailors, thugs, mad axemen and chainsaw murderers. Level one is only populated with sailors who can be laid out with a single punch. On level two, however, things immediately get ludicrously difficult - like Seven Opponents At Once difficult - and as if this wasn't a big enough thorn in your side, there is also a mad forklift driver who is invulnerable and kills you outright (hardly what you'd call a sporting chance!).

Even further into the game you can trade blows with a chainsaw wielding lunatic who quite viciously takes swipes at your thighs, which can be a bit stomach churning, to say the least. Two high kicks will dispose of him but this isn't made too easy when several other scum merchants are on your back.

The major problem with Guardian Angel is this: even when you've mastered the method for beating each type of opponent it doesn't become any easier to play. The best illustration of this is the forklift. If you run past a crane, the vehicle will crash (yippee!) but whenever a forklift appears so does one of the tougher opponents and he traps you and ensures the loss of at least one life. It's almost impossible to learn from mistakes in order to progress a bit further each time you play. Even if you are an expert at this Sort of thing, the bland and repetitive gameplay will not hold your attention for very long.

The graphics, despite being two-colour only, are quite satisfying. Both you and your opponents are well drawn and move in a fairy realistic manner but the appalling gameplay destroys any enjoyment that might have been had from this potentially good but ultimately cruddy beat-'em-up.

The characters in this game are a perfect example of what happens to victims of a materialistic society, so what better reason could there be for not buying it? Well it's rubbish for one, so sew up your pockets and count your financial blessings.