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"Introducing the latest in personal transportation. The Foourd T-Bird..." This miracle of modern science, so the cassette inlay tells us, is capable of neck-breaking acceleration and comes equipped with all the latest gadgetry including some well-hard heavy duty weaponry.

Having had your appetite whetted, you take one of these wondrous vehicles for a test drive and, blimey would you credit it if you haven't gone and flown into an alien horde intent on your demise. "Why does this always happen to me?" you ask.

Yes you've guessed it - this dreadfully contrived plot has set the scene for a space shoot-'em-up. The style of the game is very much in the same vein as Space Harrier, where hordes of aliens fly out of the distance towards you. But here, it has to be said, the similarity ends.

As you travel through space, a variety of alien formations must be blasted from the sky. This should be difficult but in fact is incredibly easy to just dodge the critters and not bother firing at all. After several waves of aliens, the mothership arrives and bombards you with its sort-of-homing missiles until such time as you've destroyed it. On doing so, the ship doesn't explode into a thousand pieces as you might expect; it simply disappears leaving the player somewhat miffed after spending so much time and effort on the beast.

Further levels offer much the same with little or no variation.

The graphics are pretty nifty, the aliens swirl about in pleasing formations and it's all pretty fast. But - and it's a huge but - there is no gameplay. At the end, all you are left with is a sense of bewilderment. The graphics and soundtrack offer a potential that the gameplay just doesn't deliver.

Under no circumstances would I ever fork out for this, not three quid not two quid not even one quid, you'd be hard pushed to get one pence out of me for this... RAAASSSP!