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Did I ever tell you about the time I went to the ice-rink? No? Well I must, sometime. But hearing the words 'Skate Wars' brings it all back. It must have taken them ages to get the blood off the ice!

Here, too, there is excessive violence. You play a man covered in steel spikes, who must play ice-hockey with another chap, and try to kill him at the same time.

It's difficult to steer properly, sliding around on the ice, and even harder to get close to the other bloke and hurt him. And, as for getting the ball and scoring goals - forget it! You have to be particularly skilful to even attempt this.

The graphics aren't much cop - they're big but not particularly clear, and you won't really enjoy looking at them for long. And the action is rather boring as well. You tend to fall over too often, and knock over the other guy a lot. And that's about it really. He'll score, you'll have a go, he'll score again and you'll get really depressed and start thinking about school or something.

Pick the breadcrumbs off a fish-finger, paint it red and leave it on the horror shelf of your local video shop. The enjoyment you'll receive will be greater than that you'll gain from playing Skate Wars.