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Doncha just love games about Vikings? I do, so I was particularly pleased to get a copy of Pit-Fighter through the post. You see, me and Barry did all about this stuff in history a few weeks ago. The Pits were a race of ancient Britons, who fought alongside the Kilts to defeat the invading Vikings.

So I slapped the game in my C64 and got ready for some horned-helmet, axe-wielding, fun with a few guest appearances from the coolest Gods of the lot. (I reckon Thor could have Vulcan any day and Odin makes Zeus look a right wimp!) Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be a two-player beat-'em-up based on some dodgy American sport.

As lung-thumpers go, Pit-Fighter ain't bad. There's a pretty impressive selection of moves, you can strike folk about the head with furniture and the successful fighter wins lurvely piles of dosh. But the weird graphics and jumpy scrolling make the later stages of the game virtually unplayable. And the multi-load, sheeesh! Mum had finished in the bathroom by the time round one had loaded! (What does she do in there?)

Strictly beat-'em-fans only for this game I'm afraid. Everybody else (and especially historians) ought to steer well clear.

On an island somewhere in the Pacific, hundreds of miles from anywhere, there's a tribe of natives that still think coconut milk tastes really nice. They'd probably be really impressed with Pit-Fighter... but then they'd probably think semi-skimmed UHT milk was delicious if they tried some. It's all comparative, you see.