If I was to believe the hype, then this event is something akin to the Titanic being raised, Haley's comet being spotted ten years early or Dave going on a diet. The so-called classic, Midnight Residence, has finally reached the shop shelves of High Wycombe. And to tell the truth, I really don't see what all the fuss was about.

When I spoke to Trent last, he was raving on about it being the best C64 game he's ever seen. "Superb graphics," he said. "Excellent!"

"A complete load of old tosh," I say. I really do think it's about time that we all clubbed together to send Trent off to the psychiatrist, folks.

It's not that Midnight Residence, which this mag raved over when it was released at full price, is uninspired - it's obvious that a great deal of forward planning and a healthy dose of effort went into the programming of the game. But it does seem to me that someone has forgotten completely about the play-testing bit - the game's just too darned hard.

Midnight Residence could be described as a platform pick-'em-up-shoot-'em-up. (It could be described as an oval orangey brownish coloured squash at £1.20 per pound from Sainsbury's, but I'd be lying!) Sure, there are 530 levels. Sure, it manages to have more colours on screen than you've ever seen before on the C64. Sure, there are generous restart points. But the music is more irritating than listening to Dave singing the latest Duran Duran single ('cos he's always got his mouth full when he does it) and the perfect collision detection makes the game far too difficult for even the expert to master the game. [A-ha! So, now we know why you've got such a downer on the game - it was too tough for you! That's enough of that one. Next! - Ed]

To your knowledge, was there ever really a time when you could "go t'pictures, 'ave soom chips after and still 'ave change left from t'ppence"? No. And this game isn't very good either.