Previous Next

Anh, tennis. The gentle thwack of willow on leather. [Excuse me? - Ed] The polite applause when a home run is scored. [Eh? - Ed] The grace of a set-piece scrum. [Have you been on the wine gums again, Frames? - Ed] Oh yes, it's a game of endless variety and fulsome joviality.

And this comes across well in International 3D Tennis. Instead of the muscular physique of that Andre Gassy fellow, you get a couple of triangular stick men, who move well but don't look like anything in particular. But hold your horses for a mo. [Horses? Hang on, are we talking about the same sport here? - Ed] Before we get into an argument about the silly graphics, I've got to say that the game is really jolly good fun to play. The animation is very good, you can do loads of snazzy moves, and the action is fast enough to get a real sense of whacking the ball around like the professionals.

The difficulty level is set just right as well. The game draws you in right from the beginning - although you'll lose a lot at first - but, once you've had some practice, you'll be able to lob, smash, volley, spin and even twist again (like we did last summer). It's one of those games where you are determined to improve your performance.

Don't let the wireframe graphics put you off. This is a great tennis game. Of course, like every bit of software with a competitive edge, it's better in two-player mode, but you can still get worked up about it when playing the computer, which varies its style and speed of play to stop things from becoming predictable (which gives it an advantage over most British tennis players).

To make the experience perfect, simply buy some mouldy strawberries (they're the cheapest) and slosh some milk on 'em (cream is too expensive). Eat the results quickly (because it tastes horrible) and have another match of International 3D Tennis.

This game compares favourably to having a cash machine going wrong and spewing out thousands of pounds in used notes straight into your pockets. Not that this ever happens (bah!).