It just goes to show you, the Codies aren't the only bods to do four-packs. Here's one fresh from the Zeppelin's country mansion and indoor arboretum-cum-fish processing centre.

Yes, it's a management game. But it's all controlled with the joystick, and it's fast and gives you on-screen highlights of the game. If you must own a soccer management sim, then this is an excellent one to go for.

Hum. Not a simulator in any sense of the word, but a top-down view racing game. Burn round a well-confusing course, trying to avoid the other peeps. Not as god as Badlands or Super Sprint, but better than a punch in the ear from an irate panda.

A sideways-scrolling waggler. Flap your joystick as fast as you can. Jump over things, try not to smash your head on any stone walls. Friends tell me that this is exactly what the Parachute Regiment is like.

Again, not really a simulator at all. The task facing you is simple. You must ride a slightly weedy mountain bike (seen from side view) over a series of tough bumps. You also fall off with astonishing regularity. It's difficult, it's not very addictive and to be honest it's incredibly annoying. We've got to be talking about the worst game since Crapsoft's Pond Simulator (and I just made that one up!).

For a quid a throw, it's not really worth it. The best is Rally Simulator. Kenny Dalglish's good for a management sim, but the other two are as sad as people who still talk about 'The Hit Parade', thinking they're trendy.