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Yes, it's time for the sort of high-speed mega-dangerous racing that everyone can afford (especially if they've got £3.99 they don't know what to do with). And by a curious coincidence, I might just have that sort of money knocking around (heh heh!). Now listen up 'cos it's quite simple. You start with a standard little car and $20,000. You must modify the car with missiles, turbos and other groovy, go-fast stuff so that when it's time to step fearlessly out on to the track, you can go with your head held high, like a true Frames (or a true whatever-your-name-happens-to-be), knowing you can't lose.

The price of these add-ons is a bit steep, but then again I'm not really sure how much heat-seeking missiles really cost (our local stockist had sold out when I visited). Anyway, it's probably best to refrain from spending any dosh and just rely on your driving skills. The idea is that you race around 27 circuits, barging, shunting and weaving to get past the guys in front. It's smooth, fast and very playable. So, because I recently celebrated my birthday and in a good mood (lots of dosh and tokens, you see) I'm going to award it a massive great Corker, and I'll fight any man who says otherwise (unless he's bigger and stronger than me, or carries a powerful handgun).

Better than becoming chums with the Queen and getting loads of cash and fine art of her in return for being witty and clever in front of visiting heads of State.