There must be some mysterious force at large in the atmosphere. I mean, suddenly, everyone's doing four-games-on-one-cassette-type deals. It's almost as if the Bermuda Triangle has appeared in England, and has swallowed up the entire contents of... [Get on with the blinkin' review, you spotty skinflint! - Ed]

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Crack up? You probably will when you see this. It's a version of the old "game" Breakout. You move a paddle from side to side, bouncing a ball which flies up and knocks bricks out of a wall, the object being to knock out every single knock-outable brick (some of them are indestructible, you see).

Depending on where on the paddle you catch the ball, you can angle it to fly up in almost any direction. Thus, if you're as skilled as me, wear brilliant glasses and have a Bristol Rovers shirt, you can send the ball up through a gap you've previously made, and watch, chuckling, as it bashes in all the blocks from the other side.

The game is so old, it's new again. I wasn't born when it first came out. Neither were all my grandparents. So it's got a sort of shabby novelty value now. As you beat each screens-worth of blocks, you progress to a harder screen, with blocks you have to hit twice, as well as those blocks that can't be destroyed.

It's marginally more fun than going down High Wycombe's main street dressed as a schoolboy in an attempt to con money out of gullible tourists. But if you're used to C64 games with complex graphics, decent sound and exciting gameplay, buy this compilation and use the Crack-Up part of the tape to record a karaoke version of Holiday in Cambodia by Dannii Minogue.

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New York is overrun by crime. People are getting their heads thumped in almost hourly. Armed robbery is rife. It's so bad, the local version of Crimewatch is on, not monthly, but every week! Something has got to be done.

But I'm only 14, so I'll just stay in England and review budget games instead. Curiously, this one, Superkid, is about New York crime. You play a child who can fly, dodge bullets and walk of tall buildings. His mission is to punch and kick the townsfolk who he meets on each level. He has an energy meter which goes down if they land a blow on him (or he flies into them).

It's not that brilliant, to be totally adult for a second. There are quite a few levels (well, three, it would seem), it's got a good running speed, and there are plenty of baddies to beat up, but ultimately it's really rather sad. And the idea of a kid doing all his stuff reminds me of the sort of stupid TV shows on at 4.45pm where the kids always solve crimes and get rewards.

The best thing about it is the large POW! which appears when you hit folk. I hit Mr Wilkins from the grocery shop to try it out, and he kicked my backside and told my parents. Violence doesn't pay, kids. If it did, I'd be trying to earn a fortune. Oh, and the final word on Superkid? It's rather silly.

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This so-called "spooky castle" is packed with small spirits. Well, small sprites actually. You play a tiny chap who rushes around, trying to jump over things and avoid the bats, ghosts and other objects which whizz around.

It's like a poor man's Addams Family, is Spooky Castle. But that doesn't mean it's very good. It isn't. As you run from screen to screen, you soon realise how you can avoid the stuff flying your way. To get out of the path of ghosts, simply get on to something a bit higher than them. And the bats can be ducked by diving down low. Riveting stuff it isn't.

In fact, the best thing about the game is the plot. Princess Clare has been imprisoned by some evil ghosts. Don't laugh - it could happen to anyone. Last week my mate Barry got captured by three talking jellyfish while out walking on the South Downs. They forced him to smear mud on his face and fall in a pond. The worst thing is, his parents. didn't believe him.

Back to the plot: Clare's dad dad, Prince Michael (not of Kent), has promised her hand in marriage to anyone who can save her. (I'd rather have her hand in a pickle jar.)

You play gormless Gary, who has to try and save her. This involves rushing around and collecting keys. Plug away at it and you'll end up shackled to some royal girl for the rest of your days. Imagine having to carefully put out every spider she sees, and having to calm her down on stormy nights. I'd rather live with a rabid polar bear.

Anyway, Spooky Castle is the best game on the cassette. It's diverting, It's a bit of fun and it's big enough to keep you going for a while.

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Atlantis have chosen to call it Crossfire, but they might as well have called it Sad Drawing Of Houses With Rubbish People Occasionally Popping Up. Because that's what it's all about. You have a set of target sights, and you swing them around the screen, blasting at anybody who sticks their heads out of the windows.

If you shoot any girls who appear, you lose points (I don't understand why), but otherwise you fire at everybody. Wait for too long and you'll be hit by one of these pathetic characters firing back.

You have to last as long as you can, while a time limit ticks down. If it gets to zero and you're still alive, you move on to the next screen where more of the same takes place. It's by far the worst game on the cassette. It reminds me of the time when I was really little and used to wonder what I'd be when I grew up. I always wanted to be a registered charity, but after seeing this game, I think I'd better give my money to pay for its cremation.

If I may be permitted to sum up, m'lud? Here we have four guilty games. There can be no excuse for the notorious Atlantis four. The only one not deserving of a life sentence is Spooky Castle. These, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, are games which would make honest, right-thinking citizens put engine-parts on their heads and hop around claiming to be the pre-tax prophets of the Church of British Telecom.

Save your four quid, invest it wisely and, in 770 years, you'll be able to buy a helium-filled space-hopper made on the very day of your birth!