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Time to put the boot in. This latest foray into footie sims is appalling. It sets out to mimic the winning formula of Anco's Kick Off and fails miserably on every count. The overhead view of the pitch is just about right, as is the neat power bar which provides a guide to the force of your kicks. Other than this, however, the whole thing is pathetic.

Movement is jerky, and so is the pitch when it scrolls. The computer-controlled players, both on your team and on the opposing team, are about as proficient at football as Gary Lineker - with both his legs broken. To top it all, there are no visible goal keepers. Oh yes, and scoring is simply a case of walking the ball across the goal line, hardly conducive to a right old riveting match, is it?

The graphics are average, the sound negligible and the less said about the gameplay the better. It might just be worth it to laugh at the outrageous cassette inlay, and I quote, "Never before has soccer action been so realistically portrayed on the computer screen". Wot a scream.

Ouch, this is agony, playing this tripe that is - not my injuries. I've had more fun with a bedpan and a cold-handed nurse.