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Despite being stabbed in the back by the Irish element whilst on holiday, and having half of Firebird whinging about my Revs review, I am pledged as an upright journalist to review Bubble Bobble fairly despite having my integrity questioned and my shoulder blades pierced. I'm that kind of guy.

What better way to restore my cool than the therapeutic enjoyment of playing a game that should be used to ween addicts off heroin. If only it wasn't so scalp mutatingly frustrating.

Bubble Bobble is what I'd call an old style arcade game. By that I mean that it doesn't rely on state-of-the-art anything. The graphics are unspectacular and so is the sound. Bubble Bobble stakes its reputation on mouth-watering playability.

You control a cutesome little brontosaurus who seems to have swallowed a box of Omo. He goes round blowing bubbles like a diehard, lifelong attender at Upton Park.

But it's no easy life for Bronty just standing around hurling abuse on the terraces. You need to fill your ever emptying stomach and being something of a trendy filofax carrying dinosaur you are a vegetarian. Meat is just not on. A diet of fruit, cakes and ice creams is necessary. To do this, you have to turn the rampaging ghosts' inedible hippopotami and disgusting looking purple fish which populate the platforms in the game into more acceptable fare. Bonuses pop up of all shapes and sizes. Umbrellas take you on several screens, running shoes speed up your movement, water droplets can be burst washing away nasties, crosses can be touched to flood the screen and bits of lightning can be burst killing everything like a smart bomb. Failure to dodge a meanie results in extincion.

It's very simple and immense fun to play. All that was needed was a software company not to cock it up in converting it. Firebird have succeeded in doing that with ease and turned in a game just as playable as its coin-op mentor.

As with any two player game working with a friend is added fun, helping each other out and then stealing the bonuses.

Bubble Bobble has me foaming at the mouth, but it's not an adverse reaction, I'm just bursting with enthusiasm.