Once upon a time, an eager game fan was reading the back of the Blood Wake box in a shop. The gamer worked out that he, in a big boat with big guns on it, would have to blow up more boats using those guns and assorted heavy weapons. "It sounds good," said the fan to himself, "I'l have a bit if that."

But there's no happy ending to this tale - far from it. If only there was a kindly wizard to make the good idea that is Blood Wake end up as a good game.

The problems begin as soon as you start, when you're required to sink a few trumped-up canoes with a big machine gun strapped to your boat. It's a problem because the controls are a mess. The boat takes far too long to react to any instructions you may care to send down your controller cable.

Presumably, the developer wanted to convey a sense of manoeuvring a heavy-duty gunboat through water, but they've gone too far with the realism. Turning feels like stirring a vat of black treacle with a garden cane.

More perversely, when your boat is brought to a standstill by a big wave or explosion, the controls are temporarily reversed - pressing left makes the boat turn right. We've spent ages trying to fathom why, but with no luck.

The water looks okay until anything starts moving, at which point it reacts rather unconvincingly to the boats and projectiles splashing through it. It looks solid, with watery textures pasted over the top of it - you just never feel like you're going to get wet, so to speak.

And it's not just the water that isn't as fluid as it should be. Every turn on the game's turbulent oceans is accompanied by a jerky stutter in the frame rate. It's a bit depressing when you consider what Xbox is capable of.

But in spite of these glaring faults, there are some puddles of fun in which to paddle. There's a certain satisfaction to be had from watching an enemy boat being blown sky-high by one of your recently dispatched torpedoes. As long as the enemy ships don't get too close - forcing you into making loads of tight, stodgy turns - combat can be explosive and enjoyable.

Unfortunately, enemy ships get close nearly all of the time, and that's when the clumsy boat handling really begins to spoil things. It's particularly annoying when you're right next to a desperately needed health crate, and can't pick it up thanks to your lurching, hulking craft and its turning circle the size of Wales.

Blood Wake belongs in the file labelled 'missed opportunity'. There are fleeting glimpses of a decent game here, but they're cancelled out because you're fighting the controls instead of the enemy.

1. Plenty of missions to try out
2. Some satisfying explosions

1. Sluggish and frustrating controls
2. Unconvincing visuals

Power
Nothing to see here - just underwhelming water effects and a jerky frame rate.

Style
Tired visual design and clichéd voiceovers make this as stylish as white socks and slip-ons.

Immersion
Frustrating controls mean you're unlikely to find yourself absorbed into the watery battles.

Lifespan
Plenty of missions to fight through, if you've got the stomach for it.

Summary
Shoddy and flawed. More like Howard's Way than Sink The Bismarck. One to rent, if that.