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A Zargon missile has two ends: a right end and a wrong end, the latter being the one which hit Earth first.

This had the instant effect of demolishing most of the buildings and turning virtually all the folks into doner kebabs.

Ten years have elapsed since the apocalypse and the Bionic Commandos are ready to send the aliens home as stains on blotting paper. These biomechanical bozos have two main attributes - an extending grappling arm and a very large gun.

The bionic arm allows the wearer to grab nearby platforms in order to climb up to them or swing from theft. It also allows bonus weapons to be caught.

The first level is a fairly standard blast from bottom left to top right of a smoothly scrolling treescape. Bees live in the trees and get rather uppity if their hive is tampered with.

Some branches are rotten, and snap, causing a new commando to be parachuted in if a truly enormous fall occurs. Mines are dotted about and prove to be fit for the purpose for which designed, to misquote the Trade Descriptions Act.

The next level is the entrance to the aliens' base, situated under a castle. Wall mounted cannon and electric wires make this level a tad difficult for your average powerassisted shock trooper. Kamikazes and rock-throwing super aliens rapidly cause the trigger finger to buzz.

Three more levels await Our Hero, each chockful of aliens willing to prove that they got there first.

Bionic Commando is almost a direct Spectrum conversion, but for once it has been done quite well.

The graphics, although reasonably detailed, have no colour at all, and are fitted into the familiar shrunken screen. Colour and green screen versions live on opposite sides of the tape or disc.

Sound is merely adequate, despite the fact that it was done by one of the Spectrum's top soundsmith.

This game is best played with a very solid joystick while affecting an outrageous Mexican accent, shouting phrases such as "Die alien scom peeds!"

The graphics are pretty dire, but don't really detract from a fun blast-and-climb game. Although Bionic Commando is rather badly animated, the aliens move nicely.

It pains me to say so, but this game could be described as completely brill.

If the graphics were better, it would be utterly halibut.