Ubisoft's latest offering in the Horizontal Scrolling Adventures (Character in Tin Hat Department) bears more than a passing resemblance to Fred. You play Zad, possibly Fred's cousin, whose quest is to become ruler of the kingdoms of Euroland by fighting your way past axemen, archers, armoured knights and other adversaries while collecting potions, keys, highly explosive vases and all the associated paraphernalia of a medieval beat-'em-up.

Zad's sword can hack in a swing from the waist or come crashing down on an opponent's head in a two-handed over the head chop. He can duck and jump and run left and right. Moving in or out of the screen is only possible, however, when a doorway beckons. Regardless of the direction it's in, Zad moves through a doorway only in response to an upward push on the joystick.

Collecting the kit he needs to complete his quest is partly achieved by way of popping into the shops as a welcome break from endless slaughter or, more economically, as a result of the spoils of war. As Zad bonks another homicidal axeman on the bonce, chances are that the recently deceased drops an item of use to our shining example of all that's best in hack 'n slay.

Zad can carry up to four each of six different items, though there are many more than six available. Who drops what, when and where, however, is a matter for some anonymous random item dropper to decide. Money is plentiful. The way it piles up you'd think this was a good way to earn a living.

Unfortunately, items are expensive in the shops to you've got to work Zad's fingers to the bone to get the full complement of equipment. The best purchase is a ranged weapon, because archers and the like move too quickly to engage in hand-to-hand combat.

Planting crossbow bolts between the opportunist bleeders' eyes before they can pull another arrow from the quiver does much to relieve the tension. But avoid picking up from the fallen bottles with question marks on them (unless you like poisoning yourself) or the very slim vases. The latter contain a form of 12th century napalm which, unless picked up very quickly and stored in a safe place, have a tendency to explode violently across the screen.

Flicking is simple between weapons or selecting items to use. Slap the space bar and the action pauses while you fondle the kit in Zad's backpack and get what you want. Think before you act, however. Swapping weapons can go on forever without a murmur from the paused Zad fodder on the screen, but drinking a potion to restore Zad's lost viality launches them back into murderous frenzy.

The atmospheric loading tune is full of portent and doom. Once the game has begun, you notice the strange croaking of unseen frogs (and other creatures) before anything else. Sampled welcomes greet you on entering stores and the rest of the effects are adequate, though perhaps not as comical as those in Fred.

Graphics are nothing to complain about either, though there's nothing here you haven't seen before. Ye Olde Napalme does a fair display of pyrotechnics when it goes off, but vanquished foes just disappear in a twinkle. Backgrounds are standard fare, but a few more colours wouldn't have gone amiss. When the curtains are the same drab hue as the walls and floor you can't help but understand why people want to spill a bit of blood. The place could do with the colour.

Where The Gold Age falls down is in gameplay. You'd think a character with as little to do as Zad would be easy to control, yet half the time he jumps across the screen without the slightest provocation, and the other half getting him to move at all seems like it's going to take divine intervention.

Meanwhile the combat soon becomes dull and repetitive. Bonk 'em on the head or twang them from a distance, it all blurs into one unsatisfying bloodbath. A puzzle of an interesting screen layout would be neat, but there's little chance of this. There are plenty of screens, but most are ismply a repainted version of the last one. There's nothing to prompt a spark between your synapses either. So why do we have all those thumb-twiddling disk accesses? Yep, not satisfied with being monotonous, this is a game that keeps you waiting.

Back To The Gold Age is by no means awful and its limited playability may appeal to some. But it doesn't have enough redeeming features to really do the business.