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What costs £1.99, comes in a clear plastic case, and is thoroughly recommended to insomniacs? It's Armourdillo, the latest release from Code Masters!

Standard plot - your peaceful world, which in this case is called Mobanti, never wanted to make any real progress in military science. For their pacifism, they are attacked by aliens from a distant galaxy called the Milky Way - that's the sweet you can eat between galactic wars. The Monbantians dispatched several of their top spies to try and find out the secret of their resounding success in land combat. Only a handful of the spies returned, one of which, a man named Tarly, brought with him a rundown of the enemy who as it happens comes from the planet Earth (dry dry dry).

Faced with the problem that the crust of the planet contains very little metal, the Monbantians build a tank out of a living organic material, which is the vehicle you can control - presumably the armourdillo. And if this game is anything to go on, it must be awesomely powerful as it did a good job of nearly boring me to death. So with this living tank you have to go out and take on the enemy single-handed. Why did they only build one though, I wonder?

Out in the city, it's not so much destroy the aliens, more of a rescue mission, which goes something like this: over to the left-hand side of the city collect a shuttle, zap a few aliens and come back again, repeat until all shuttles are rescued then exit the screen yourself. This procedure has to be repeated for the rest of the game which, as with all games of this calibre appears to have no ending, ideal for insomniacs, complete with nice graphics and pretty sound, guaranteed to force you into a deep coma for at least a week.

Well, the decision whether to buy or not is down to you, but if you value your mind, life and sanity, you'll leave this one well alone.