You want to drive a skidoo. You know you do. They look like the most fun vehicle on earth (vibrating helicopter backpack excepted). Part tank, part skis, part lawnmower, they can motor over frozen water of any consistency at high speeds. But pass them through a video game filter and they can also handle concrete, metal and molten lava, blast up to nosebleed-inducing velocities and shoot missiles and grappling hooks out of their nose cones as they fly by.

Midway - the world leader in video game exaggeration (they also did stupidly over-the-top NHL Hitz 20-02) has taken skidoo driving to ludicrous extremes in Arctic Thunder. We're getting snow and vehicles and big jumps and weapons, which sounds great, huh? But, unfortunately, it's not. It's rubbish.

First off, it looks disgraceful - like a lazy old PlayStation game with zero style. The tracks are all blocky, snowy canyons peppered by random lumps of trackside scenery.

Next there's your quest - to beat a bunch of other skidooers to weapon, speed, shield and many more generic boosts that will help you barge your way to the front of the pack. It's the kind of non-idea that's bored you a thousand times before this.

Then there's the skidoos, sleek, fast and seemingly ideal for some on-the-edge racing. But there's practically no need to steer the damn things, you just point them roughly towards bends and they'll get round any corner, even if it means scraping all the way around (aargh!) an invisible wall. Since you lose negligable speed for any mistake, no skill is required to play.

Even if you get knocked off your skidoo by a homing missile or a punch to the gob, you reappear a second later, at full speed, and way ahead of where you fell off! With no sense of danger or excitement on any level, at any point in the game, Arctic Thunder exists as a demonstration of how bad Xbox games can be if developers simply dust off a tired idea for this shiny new format.

1. ?

1. Looks atrocious
2. Not a single interesting idea
3. Loads of bugs and glitches
4. No excitement
5. Just feels so pointless

Power
It's so basic and scruffy looking, your Xbox won't even notice that it's running a game.

Style
None. Horrible characters, sound and menu screens... Smell the stench of cheap video game.

Immersion
There's always stuff happening, but since the point is there is no point, you won't care.

Lifespan
Can always keep earning points to unlock bonuses, but you'd be a strange person to want to.

Summary
A disgraceful excuse for an Xbox game. Looks dreadful, has no new ideas and feels limp and lifeless to play.