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Wrestlers are rum coves; they wear tights for a start. Englishmen have worn tights since time immemorial - look at Robin Hood! - but in America, only super-heroes wear pantyhose (as they say over there). Which figures, seeing as this WWF business is all about good guys and bad guys.

It's also a tad different from proper wrestling. Y'see, in real wrestling you're not actually meant to hurt anyone. All the moves are choreographed, and when one chap hits another he stamps his foot on the ground to make that authentic 'thumping' noise. This does not happen in Ocean's latest soopa-doopa joystick waggler. Oh no, WWF is basically a musclebound, tight-wearing beat-'em-up. And it's pretty darn spiffy.

First up, you have to choose your chap. You've got a choice of three and each one has his own special move. Depending on your mood, you can be Hulk Hogan with his great pile driver move, the power-slamming British Bulldog or the gorilla-pressing Ultimate Warrior. It's a tough decision and you'll probably end up going for the chap in the spankiest outfit.

Here's a quick bit of advice - go for the British Bulldog. He might look a bit crap, what with that straggly long hair and all-in-one white body stocking, but there's very little he doesn't know about picking up a chap up by the ankles and pounding his head on the floor. This probably has something to do with the fact that he grew up in Leeds and thinks all these Americans are nancies.

The computer takes on the part of your opponent, Mr Perfect. This chap's a smug get and you really can't wait to get into that ring and chuck him, green leotard and all, into the lap of a sedentary granny. Mr Perfect is convinced that he's going to pin you in the first three seconds, and it's pretty hard to prove him wrong. Uh oh, time to climb into the ring, we reckon.

The basic screen doesn't change at all throughout the game, you've just got the ring and the players. Sounds a bit boring, doesn't it? Well, don't go away, 'cos it isn't. Y'see, there's simply no need for any spanky scrolling or state of the art special effects. All you need for maximum fun is what you get - two chunky geezers and a rubber mat.

It's an easy game to grasp but it's also difficult enough to keep you busy for quite a while. 'Cos it's a joystick waggler, you really have to put all your energy into waggling as quickly as possible. Now and then you might worry about breaking your joystick and for a split second you'll stop waggling. At that point Mr Perfect will tip you over his perfect shoulders and flop straight onto your stomach from a great height. It probably hurts a great deal, it's also virtually impossible to get out of. That Mr Perfect, eh? What a spangly swine!

It's dead annoying when you get pinned down but even more annoying is the fact that whenever you knock old Perfecto for six you suddenly decide to sprint around the ring. It's a sort of victory dance, but it does stop you from using that perfect turn as a trampoline. This is our only real problem with WWF - everything else is spot on.

Your wrestler is well animated and can circle Mr Perfect at quite a speed. When your opponent starts to get a bit dizzy, lunge forward and get him on the neck with your special move. Hurrah!

When you get into a grapple with the Perfect one, you can almost see those muscles bubbling. Then, when he decides to wipe his feet on your stomach: your curled up body bounces up and down on the mat!

There are some really good moves in WWF and once you've attained some sort of mastery over the controls you can really start throwing your weight around. As well as putting your special super-sexy move to use and throwing your opponent out of the ring, you can also go in for a bit of slamming. Simply heave yourself off the ropes and run smack into Mr Perfect's considerable bulk.

When you're almost perfect (and not afraid of the green clad Mr Perfect at all) you can jump out of the ring on one side and leap in on the other side straight onto his firm but unsuspecting back. Oof! His teeth hit the rubber mat and you'll have no probs pinning him. Ha! Nobody's perfect, not even the exception to the rule. [Uh? - Ed]

WWF is quite difficult but it's ace fun. Yours truly is a bit of a wrestling freak so she really enjoyed it, but it's even worth a go for your average Big Daddy-hater.

Especially worth checking out is the two-player option. Get a couple of WWF fans onto this and they won't care about anything else. The joystick waggling all gets dead hectic and somehow you can never get it to waggle fast enough. But you know that next time you'll waggle perfectly. Time for another go!

WWF is quite a big thing at the moment, so if you've got the pencil and ruler set, the bag, the blow up doll and the moveable figure, then you can't do better then go and buy this. Then stock up on the joysticks, slip into a pair of tights and get waggling.

And remember, kids, don't try this at home. Not unless there's a responsible adult present and correct.

Decide whether you want to be a goodie or baddie
This will affect everything you do in the ring. Goodies play by the rules and baddies cheat. Basically.

Think up a really decent moniker
Baddies should go for place names where previous baddies have hung out - any German or Japanese town will do. Ideal names for goodies include anything with boy on the end - Jimmy Boy, for example.

Get your kit sorted out
Goodies wear white, glitter, union jacks and briefs with their name embroidered on the back. Baddies look good in black, red, cloaks and masks.

Devise your own personal move
This can be a bit tricky, so here's some ideas...

1. The Crook Bouncer: Get your opponent on the floor and stretch his arms out. When they're straight, sit on his stomach and place each knee in the crook of his elbow. Raise yourself up and bounce up and down on your knees. Ouch!
2. The Back Slam: Whilst your opponent is standing up, climb up onto the ropes and lunge forward, head-first, into his back. He'll go crashing to the floor and, hopefully, won't be able to move for at least two hours. The main problem with this one is that you have to make sure your opponent doesn't move.
3. The Head Bash Roll: Stand on one of the posts and your opponent will come over and try and knock you off. Choose your moment well and jump onto his shoulders. He'll try and knock you off by leaning forward, hold tight to his ears and roll between his legs. He'll then go crashing headfirst onto the mat. His head'll hurt but you'll be okay 'cos you've just executed a perfect forward roll.

Note: These are moves that both goodies and baddies can use. The only difference is that baddies have to punch their opponents in the face at the same time.

The two-player mode is great. But be warned, a contest might end in genuine fisticuffs. It's so involved and so easy to get into. Smart.

Beat Mr. Perfect

Graphics 88%
Not immensely colourful, but clear and very well animated.

Sonics 61%
Standard (aluminium sheeting being flexed) computer combat noises.

Grab Factor 90%
It's easy to learn how to waggle a joystick - just don't break it!

Staying Power 91%
Hard enough to give you a run for your money. Great with two players.

Overall 90%
Leotard-wearers everywhere should be queuing to get their rather large fists on this one.