Previous Next

Werner is a German cartoon character whose antics are based on those of Rotger Feldmann, an infamous biker. The computer version of Werner's adventures comprises four independently loaded arcade-style programs, in which he builds a motorbike, travels to a party, goes on a 'panic tour' and diddles (plays dice).

The first section depicts Werner's assembly of a customised motorcycle. The prospective bike builder stands in the lower half of the screen, with the upper portion containing two windows - one displaying motorcycle components and the other showing twelve bottles of beer. Left and right movements of the joystick scroll through the motorbike components - frames, wheels, seats, engines and exhaust pipes - with the player choosing pieces by pulling down on the stick. Choosing a correct part results in it being placed next to Werner at the bottom of the screen. An incorrect choice results in the removal of a bottle. The program has to be reloaded if all of Werner's beer is used before the motorcycle is complete.

Next comes a hazardous car journey as Werner tries to take four crates of beer to a party. The route is inhabited by four types of horror who have taken a strong dislike to our hero and must be avoided. The screen displays a side-on view of Werner's car as his enemies emerge from in front and behind. One of Werner's twelve bottles is removed on contact with a hostile - and if all of his bottles disappear... well, there's no point in him going to the party.

The third section follows Werner's 'panic tour'. The same side-on view and control method as used in the previous section applies here, while Werner travels as far along the highway as he can, avoiding numerous strange objects as he goes.

The final game, 'diddling', is an alternative dice game. Player One throws the dice and takes a peek, not letting anyone else see the dice. The second player is given the dice and attempts to equal or beat the first player's score. When the throw is taken, Player Two tells the third player his equal or better score and Player Three has to decide whether Player Two is lying or not. If Player Three reckons that Two is telling the truth the dice are thrown - howeever, if Three thinks the opposite, the dice are revealed and a beer mat is awarded to whoever is wrong.

The dice are then thrown by Player Three, and handed onto the next person to continue the action... confused? You should be!

This is so *annoying*! Werner is supposed to be funny, but it's not - not even for a nano-second!

Instead it's mind-numbingly boring and frustrating. The first program is the only semi-decent one of the four - and that is completely ruined because you have to reload every time you make a mistake.

The next two are pointless and repetitive, and the fourth is simply stupid. The instructions are unreadable, indecipherable and totally incomprehensible. The graphics are pointless and quite large, but when they're tagged onto a program as totally awful as this they're not worth a light.

Don't squander your money on this waste of bytes.

What initially spoils Werner is the badly written instructions - they don't give away much about how to play the game. It would appear that they have been badly translated from the German originals.

The graphics are well designed and humorous, but this doesn't make up for the lack of exciting gameplay. The four sections aren't particularly brilliant, and their potential hasn't been exploited to the full.

The whole thing appears to be nothing more than a mish-mash of a few good ideas strung together to produce a couple of poor games.

This is definitely the strangest game I have ever seen. There are four sub-games within the package, tenuously linked by this weird Werner character (apparently based on a real life person - the guy must be a mutant!).

The four sections are all quite tedious and the lack of any real playability is not helped by the instructions, which have been roughly translated from German and are not terribly helpful. The sections look very nice and sound reasonable, but any gameplay is sadly missing.

Presentation 27%
Incomprehensible instructions, and a terrible loading system.

Graphics 71%
Big, bold and colourful characters, but little or no backdrops.

Sound 29%
A few weak spot effects and jingles.

Hookability 32%
All the games are very obscure - the confusing instructions don't help the player get into the action.

Lastability 8%
Four unplayable and extremely limited programs which soon repel.

Value For Money 3%
Ridiculously overpriced for such trite, unplayable drivel.

Overall 10%
Original, but pointless. Give it a miss.