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Life's a bitch. There you are, DemonLord Raith, minding your own business presiding over your evil empire of chaos, when along comes this bloke who throws a spanner in the works. A blind prophet ambles up to you and warns, "a child shall be born under the Warrior's Moon... it will rise to face the demon in combat... and the Lord of Demons will fall by the hand of the Weaponlord..." Someone sits you down and explains very slowly, in words of no more than one syllable, that this means you're about to come a serious cropper.

Still, you figure, there's no way someone in nappies is going to kick your butt. So you sit on your arse for 25 years and wait for this kid to roll up. But how are you going to know your destiny-bringer apart from all other goons who reckon they can sort you out in the car park after closing time? Your plan is simple. You organise a contest to see who's hardest. The six winners promptly kick each other's heads in, itching for the chance to steal your crown from you.

Bit of a crap plan really, but there you have it. The scene is set for the medieval ruck to end all medieval rucks...

1. Korr: Barbarian Master Warrior Armed with a broad sword, the improbably named master warrior Korr has a number of special moves which include the double frame strike, the power kick, the firestorm, the gut-slash and the tarok strike.

2. Bane: The Lone Wolf This bloke is, literally, an animal. Habits include tearing people apart limb from limb. Special moevs include the skull crusher, the berserker, the hammer blast, the power hammer and the cursed kick.

3. Divada: Mistress Of Death A warrior/sorceress who's a bit useful with her twin-bladed staff. She has special moves such as the ground blast, the soul drill, the power flip, the psycho blades and the death whirl. Keep your eye on this one.

4. Talazia: The Bird Of Prey Protected behind a shield made of a giant claw, Talazia's principal weapon is the deadly talon blade. Special moves: the air tear, the rip claw, the shadow deflect and the prey launch.

5. Zorn: The Defiler The politically incorrect Zorn carries round an ivory axe and can dust off special moves like the scream shield, the ancient axe, the hell grinder, hell fire and the axe trip to topple his quarry. Second only in reputation to...

6. Jen-Tai: The War Queen The last opponent you face before you meet the guv'nor himself. Special moves include the shield smash, the reverse kick, the death blade, the leg breaker and the black blade strike.

Weaponlord is staggering under the weight of its own po-faced seriousness, making a little snigger at its self-importance difficult to resist. Indeed, when ploughing through the interminable intro sequence you could be forgiven for thinking that you were playing the game of Harry Enfield's Palace of Righteous Justice and not another beat-'em-up. Which, of course, is exactly what this is.

While perhaps not as original a spin as Primal Rage, Weaponlord nevertheless does the business in satisfyingly visceral style. Buckets of blood fly as severed heads are lopped off by whirling blades and forcefully plunged swords meet their targets. Some flamboyant fatalities and a wide range of special moves add to the fun. If you like your beat-'em-ups coloured red, you won't go far wrong with this.

What is behind this sudden upsurge in violence? The long hot summer, nasty things on the TV? In any case, Weaponlord leaves you in no doubt that inflicting pain is the name of this particular game. Whether it be decaptiations, double slashes or bone-cracking specials, it makes most other Megadrive titles look feeble in the gore department.

I wish I could get a little more enthusiastic about the actual gameplay. Although the moves are comprehensive, with lots of specials and fatalities, the general action is somewhat slow, with musclebound adversaries no match in speed for the nimble fighters of Mortal Kombat 2.

It's also unfortunate that this comes up against Primal Rage which, for my money, is the better game. However, Weaponlord has some serious devotees amonst the real gamesters in the office, Paul Davies of NMS for one.

Swords, sorcery and skull-crunching in this dark ages one-on-one.

Armed with your customised weaponry and special moves, fight your way to the top of the tyrannical tree.

Graphics 87%
P. The he-men and women are well defined in all their various contortions. Backgrounds are similarly detailed.

Animation 84%
N. No worries here - smooth and faultless.

Music 85%
P. A well 'ard thundering score. Well, in so far as the Megadrive can ever thunder...

Effects 81%
P. Flying blades and whirling swords make suitably whooshy 'whoosh' noises. N. The speech is a bit grufty.

Playability 86%
N. A very challenging game for the newcomer.

Lastability 82%
P. Too difficult, and too epic in its scale, to be over with quickly.

Overall 84%
This isn't going to convert anyone, but if you're into beat-'em-ups, this is guaranteed to bring out the worst in you.