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I often choose to begin a review with a few lines telling you what I know about the company and the game in question. Due to a predilection for untidiness I have misplaced the literature concerning this game. What I do know of the company is contentious. They were suspected of shady dealings and political intrigue in South America and, becoming unstuck when the country's ruling junta came to a sticky end exposing what lay behind a thick skein of secrecy, were heavily implicated in a honeycomb of leaky, transparent coverups, diplomatic raspberries, power-besotted gooseberries and giving a whole polysaccharide of embezzled condiments to the ruling party, The Preservatives.

So much for the artificial flavouring, let's add some colour (or never mind the company, what about the game)? If 1 said I once knew a posh chap whose name was Valkyrie, then surely you would fear the worst - that this review will amount to no more than the sort of journalistic licence flaunted in the name of Colour Supplement entertainment. No, instead to that tardis-like tome, the Collins English Dictionary -

VALKYRIE, Walkyrie or Valkyr, n. Norse myth, any of the beautiful maidens who serve Odin and ride over the battlefields to claim the dead heroes by him or Tyr and take them to Valhalla.

Nothing of interest here...... I wonder if it's the seventeen?

If you're wondering what all the verbiage is, it's what I wrote while waiting for this game to load again. I wanted to know what happens if you say YES twice in succession to the question, 'For our records, please indicate if this is a pirate copy: Ans Y or N. ', which appears on a blank screen once the game has loaded. You might wonder why I did not answer NO, after all, It is quite a legal and respectable review copy. Ah yes, but you see, as a reviewer I must explore every avenue for the prosaic, and occasionally the unexpected, as in this case. So much for my whimsical aberration, let's get down to this review and join me as I discover the game from scratch (because of the aforementioned predilection).

'You are in the bar of the Glitz Hotel. It's dimly lit and smoky. There is an attractive girl at the bar.' So begin Valkyrie 17, and a reasonably pleasant introduction it is too. Heading east I enter the ladies powder room and rather than do the honourable thing and turn right back, I stay just long enough to see the shower 'might be refreshing after a strenuous morning spent skiing.' Skiing eh-umm?

To the north and east I find some snowshoes in the broom cupboard. Skiing; snowshoes? I suppose I must be in a skiing resort. At the entrance to the hotel the Manager won't let me leave until I've paid up, so I turn back towards the reception desk where the telephone never stops ringing - obviously a peculiar hotel. On one occasion I answer the phone to learn 'The Red Kipper flies at midnight'. I can only assume the bad line distorted the call from a local takeaway trying to entice customers away from the dubious hotel service -'The Red Kipper fries till midnight'.

At reception I try to PAY BILL but I am unfamiliar with the currency (199 Grotniks?) and have long since dispensed with credit cards having lost all in a game of Snap. So what am Ito do? Stuck in a hotel where the 'chambermaid appears and asks politely 'if you've been standing in a broom cupboard. She dusts you down and leaves'. So what if I had been standing in a broom cupboard? I wonder if I could slip out but no, the manager will not let me leave until I've paid the bill. In my fury I attack him; 'in a blur of motion he dispatches a single blow to your solar plexus. As you fall, you notice he is wearing a black belt'.

Colourful, relatively easy, and very witty, Valkyrie 17is a joy to play and features many good quality graphics. Its striking quality is the amazing depth of the humorous replies to whatever input you might come up with. e input routine is very certain and sure, and different tones of beeps draw your attention to when the program is ready for your input, or to an item present or a comment made. The layout of the screen is very attractive with a small 17 adjacent to your last input. During input type is spaced out for emphasis and condenses to normal spacing once entered. I didn't want to run through this game in detail as I so often do, otherwise, when you come to play it, you would meet a string of jokes you've heard before, and many are far too good to ruin. If you are one of the many who like their adventures served up with some humour, then this is one for you.

Difficulty: quite easy
Graphics: on about half the locations, quite good
Presentation: very good
Input facility: good, limited to verb/noun
Response: a touch sluggish
Special features: random element, events can change