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Few would argue with an angry dinosaur - none would provoke a dinosaur who's carrying a gun! So who on earth is challenging not one but three of these creatures from the dawn of time, seemingly intent on hurrying the eve of destruction? Surely the last thing the world needs is a cash supplier to invoke the assistance of some elephant-gun-toting dinosaurs for hire?

Well, oddly enough, these mad Mesozoic-mercs are on our side. They are furious because of a whacked-out scientist's plans to eradicate the entire human race! To prevent retaliation he's bio-engineered the most enormous dinosaurs earth has even seen and stationed them as guardians of crucial locations in his evil empire. Only the dinosaurs for hire stand a hope of challenging these monsters and surviving but - owing to brains the size of walnuts - they require the direction of two human beings to do so. This cumbersome combo of the year's most unlikely heroes await your command!

1. Shoot It
   Handling the guns carried by the dinos requires phenomenal strength because they all kick like a T-Rex! When operating on full power only the Dinosaurs for Hire can control them!
2. Stomp It
   Being sandwiched between terra firma and the weight of a falling dinosaur is one heavy situation to find yourself in! With some skill on the player's behalf it's a fate the scientists henchmen simply cannot escape!
3. Smack It With A Hot Gun-Barrel
   Though their big guns are fine for spraying all and sundry with hot lead any close-ranged attacks launched against the dinos are likely to find them dead! Unless, that is, they make use of some intimate moves of their own. Both Arnie and Lorenzo take a swipe with the butts of their guns when seeking to give their enemies a headache. Reese on the other hand simply uses his butt!

In times when troubles faced by the dinosaurs escalate to a size even their vast proportions cannot handle they needn't worry too much. As each member of the team embarks on their mission they're equipped with a special weapon known affectionately as a 'Nuclear Holocaust'.

A particularly devastating brand of high explosive, these smart bombs wipe out every enemy on screen and bruise the big-bad bosses good!

Sega's own titles are maintaining an extraordinarily high standard of late, so it's a bit upsetting to see them make a bit of a bodge of this one. It's a tough game generally though there are occasions when problems facing a player aren't really tricky, but downright unfair!

For example two players guiding their dinos up a vertically-scrolling screen find being left behind means a forfeit of energy. Also, they cannot fall more than three inches without falling off the screen and losing a life!

This means two-player games generally result in arguments. It's sad really because the dinosaurs themselves know some cool moves, the bosses are huge and pretty entertaining too if a little easy to outwit. The general consensus around the office is that somebody presented the programming team with some excellent ideas, which they promptly went off and made a hash of!

As a temporary answer to cure a blast freak's itch Dinosaurs For Hire fits the bill but it's far from being a high class product.

Bit of a silly concept from the start this one methinks - huge dinosaurs running around with bazookas and the like but since Sega have done it, they could have done it better.

It's not bad as far as it goes - as long as you don't mind mindless and pretty uninspired blast-'em-ups that is, but the graphics are drab when they should be bright, the gameplay is mediocre and unoriginal when it should have been good and the two-player mode is appalling since one or the other of you is always getting left behind through no fault of your own.

Not terrible but well worth giving a miss.

The game is based upon characters created by Tom Mason for Malibu Comics.

Lead one or two dinosaurs (for hire) over and around platforms through five stages of blasting action.

Presentation 68%
P. Profiles on each dinosaur are available and are quite amusing.
N. Elsewhere it's the same old title-screen/option-screen/demo scenario seen a zillion times before.

Graphics 81%
P. Each dinosaur has its own character through use of detail and clever animation.
N. The colour-scheme is dull throughout. Most enemy sprites are either very tiny or scruffy and rigid.

Sound 84%
P. There are some ace blasting effects and the dinosaurs' gums sound wicked! The music goes down a storm too.

Playability 67%
P. Grit your teeth and get to it! Cutting a swathe of destruction through the various levels is fun for a while...
N. However, the frustration element soon leads to boredom.

Lastability 71%
P. The level of challenge is high. Fans of the comic series might enjoy a blast every so often.
N. For most people there are many other games that desere priority on the playlist before this one.

Overall 69%
Some great ideas fall foul of fossilised game design and frustrating gameplay.