The Three Dirty Dwarves in question come from inside the role-playing game of four imaginative kids who are being watched closely by Army Intelligence, as one of them has developed an inter-dimensional gate. This imaginary device sucks the swarves into the 'real world' along with orc-ish mutants that threaten the stability of the United States from the ghettos of New York. The kids are nabbed by the army and the dwarves have to save them by using kit found in Al's Sport Shop in the Bronx. Yes, it is the silliest plot for a beat-'em-up on the Saturn, but it does have three player action. So...

Each character's weapons is employed in various ways during the street-fight. The simplest method is to bash enemies over the head with what you have to hand, but the weapons can be employed in more specialised ways.

1. Baseball Bat
   Can whack home run-paced balls into the faces of your foes, and skilful players can launch a salvo of four at once.
2. Football
   Rolled along the ground to up-end anyone standing in your path, whilst disposing of most inanimate obstacles.
3. Shotgun
   Fires off an unlimited supply of cartridges, one of which is enough to blow most creatures away.
4. Threesomes!
   The Dwarves get into action using a special attack power, and turn into a formidable scrum formation.

The player selection works in a variety of mystifying ways. For a single-player game it's simple enough - you lead one dwarf and the others follow, with the option to switch control of the main character. Two players share the dwarfs, with a spare character selectable by either. Three players, naturally, take one. In any of these games, if all three dwarfs are stunned simultaneously, the game is over.

I'm one of the few people who actually likes scrolling beat-'em-ups. Final Fight, Streets Of Rage, Die Hard Arcade - they all get my adrenalin pumping. Unfortunately, 3DD commits the cardinal sin having both frustrating gameplay, and a cripplingly narrow play field.

The graphics are nicely detailed and smoothly animated, the sound is acceptable, and there are some clever ideas on the later levels.

But, at the end of a day, 3DD just isn't as satisfying as other genre entries. Save your cash for Die Hard.

Three Dirty Dwarves thinks it's so funny, but there's little to smile about when you're trying to get to grips with the damn thing. 3DD is double-D difficult due to the narrowness of the actual playing area, which is little more than a mere path at the bottom of the screen.

It's a shame, as some later levels have had a lot of work put into designing strange adversaries. The saving grace is the genuine variety in the Dwarves' fighting styles, pity they don't get the space to really work them.

Graphics 82%
Pleasantly difficult chunky graphic style and large-scale sprites.

Animation 74%
The dwarves move well and the background scaling is interesting.

Music 75%
American, if that appeals to you.

Effects 71%
The samples are not of a great quality.

Playability 69%
The three character select system is unique, the action relentless.

Lastability 66%
Very hard, even with unlimited continues!

Overall 66%
3DD shoots itself in the foot early on, with grinding gameplay and limited score for player expression.