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"Select your crack side from 24 different, tough street-wise city kids," says the packaging on this urban five-a-side game. In fact, the 24 players don't differ apart from their appearance (and most of them resemble gangsters rather than kids).

To further give the impression that they aren't meant to be professionals, your team members constantly play out of position, and even the goalkeeper is wont to wander well upfield. Luckily, the computer team is no better, and it's possible to score against them within seconds of almost every kick-off. The only factor working against you is the computer's intermittent failure to register goals, but not even this prevented me from winning my third match 20-3. It did prevent me coming back for a rematch though.

A football game sadly lacking any credibility whatsoever.