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Money! That's the only thing that matters! Money and, perhaps, football. Football's quite important too. Just imagine how nice it would be if you could make money from football. Ideal!

Soccer Directors must think they've died and gone to heaven. Lots of football, lots of money, lots of gold jewellery and poisonous cigars, big cars and swimming pools. On second thoughts, you can keep it.

This game puts you in the position of being able to buy shares illegally in Britain's top clubs. The aim to to own 501 or more shares in all the First Division clubs, thus making you King of Football, and immensely wealthy. The shares are so expensive that you'll need to wait for your dividends to start coming in before you can buy many. This is the problem. The money slowly rolls in from your investments; it's quickly spent, rolls in again lethargically, and the cycle repeats.

Other factors have a marginal effect on this tedious process. The performance of the team, or whether a riot or (God forbid) tax evasion occurs, all take their toll on your accumulating dosh. You can also affect the teams by calling a shareholders' meeting. If you have enough weight, you'll get the manager sacked, the ground improved and so on. If you set up a particular team just right, you can bet on them in the League or FA Cup. It's another way of raking in moolah.

Sadly, nothing you do seems to make much difference to the game. The money still comes in, and eventually you'll have enough to buy all the clubs. You might as well go and make a pot of tea and come back to the game every half an hour to check on its progress.

No graphics, no interesting typeface, no sound. At least there are a couple of colour changes. But this isn't enough to make the game playable, even by the most enthusiastic management-sim fan. It's even worse than watching Luton at home.

Yuk... another text-only soccer management sim. The thing is, you're even further removed from the game itself as you're cast in the role of a wheeler-dealer director out to make a fast buck. Dull or what?

Drink four cups of tea and even seven Custard Creams whilst it's running.

Graphics 5%
N. Some of the words are different colours.

Sonics 0%
N. No sounds at all. (You could crunch the biscuits loudly!)

Grab Factor 36%
P. It certainly is a novel idea.

Staying Power 27%
N. Sheer dogged persistence might keep you at it.

Overall 32%
N. It's definitely original, but sadly isn't very playable.