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Mean Machines Sega
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Publisher: Data East
Machine: Sega Saturn (JP Version)
Published in Mean Machines Sega #33
Side Pocket 2
Playing good Pool is commonly seen as a sign of a misspent youth - years of bunking off double Maths and spending the afternoon in a smokey snooker club producing the most prestigious of cue meisters. Data East are probably not going to dispell the image of the game with the digitised characters they've assembled for the Saturn edition of their old stalwart, Side Pocket.
Travelling across America you encounter, in turn: an old tart, who can't play for toffee; Bernard Manning and Roy Chubby Brown's retarded love-child dressed in a 'tux' and a sleazy lounge-lizard who favours white double-breasted cocktail suits; and that's just for starters. As for your character, well, how often do you get to play a coffin-dodger, whose pension extends to covering $800,000 stakes?
So, none of the cast are likely to get picked on Blind Date (though these days...) but it's their prowess with a pointy stick that's the issue, as well as how this CD collection of trick shots, pool variations and dodgy Muzak holds up.
Origin
A not-too-different Saturn interpretation of an old arcade/Megadrive pool game.
Game Aim
Play multifarious games of America's favourite billiards derivative, Pool.
Cannonball Run
Story Mode sees you playing the popular 8-Ball game in a series of US cities, with snippets of FMV setting the scene for each confrontation. As you go, you stake your previous winnings against better and richer opponents. Though the game stays the same, the beize changes colour.
Love Triangle
1. 8-Ball The fifteen balls are split between stripes and spots (called 'solids' here). Players pot their types before going for the 8-Ball.
2. 9-Ball Both players aim to pot the largest number of balls in a specific order.
3. Bowlliards A mixture of snooker and skittles. Both players are allowed two chances to rack up a score.
Gus
Although no-one was expecting great things from pool, this is immediately disappointing because it fails to exploit the Saturn's capacity for displaying games in realistic 3D. If Archer Maclean can do it on the Megadrive, Data East should sure as hell give it a try on a 32-bit machine.
Despite this, devotees of the game in its previous formats will find the same amount of options and game permutations, with slightly crisper, though flat, graphics. The music is still dreadful, in a compulsive kind of way, and the CPU reasonably challenging (although prone to some bizarre errors on the lower levels). No great surprises then, and no great leaps forward.
Paul
The original Side Pocket sunk without trace here, mainly because it was a bit crap. Logically, the Saturn version will do the same (if it ever makes it here) as it is crap in much the same way. Okay, it's slightly nicer to look at - a more refined turd, but in terms of recreating pool, which is a pretty atmospheric game, it fails. There is all the sophistication of a mid-1980s arcade cabinet, and I'd rate the Saturn as a better machine than that.
Verdict
Graphics 65%
P. Crisp, with good ball movement and pleasant presentation.
N. Disappointingly flat and unvaried table, and poor quality video footage.
Animation 46%
P. Reasonably convincing ball animation.
N. No attempt to create a realistic cue or hand movement.
Music 59%
P. There are 35 (count 'em!) musical interludes.
N. Music to eat Big Macs to (Want a copy, Fergie?)
Effects 34%
N. The ball noise is particularly unconvincing.
Playability 62%
P. Fun, in a limited sort of exasperating way.
N. Despite variations, very little variety strangely.
Lastability 54%
P. The trick shots and tournaments will take a while to unravel.
N. The two player game is pretty dull.
Overall 58%
Pool without the pull. Neither sleazy enough for pool hall punters, or exciting enough for casual punters.
Scores
Sega Saturn VersionGraphics | 65% |
Animation | 46% |
Music | 59% |
Effects | 34% |
Playability | 62% |
Lastability | 54% |
Overall | 58% |