Samantha Fox Strip Poker
She's induced rigor mortis into many a lust-driven man by baring all in the daily tabloids and singing suggestive lyrics, and now she will no doubt do the same to Commodore owning chauvinists everywhere. Yes, It's Samantha Fox, and this is her strip poker. The rules are straightforward enough - beat Sam at five card draw poker and she removes her clothes for you. Slurp, drool, slobber. If you lose - well, that depends upon how kinky you are; if you fancy sitting in front your 64 dressed only in your undies, then fair enough, whatever turns you on.
You start with £100 and have to put in the necessary ante of £5 with each new game. However, the size of your bets is up to you. A hand of five cards is dealt to both players; your cards are displayed at the bottom of the screen, but Sam keeps hers to herself. You are only allowed to change your hand once, and £25 is the maximum bet or raise. Otherwise, the standard rules of poker apply - the highest hand wins. Whenever Sam loses a hand and reaches zero, she has to remove one item of clothing and exchange another for £100. That is, if she has any clothing left...
JR
I can't say I'm impressed. A really crappy poker game and even worse digitised pictures of the tasty teasin' bundle o' fun - if my breasts looked like that I'd be down the cancer clinic faster than you could say 'gerremoffdarlin'. If you do want mammaries to stir your loins, then buy The Sun for a week; far cheaper and the pictures are of a better quality. If you want to use your 64 to stir your loins, then go out and get it. The real thing's cheaper and ultimately more interesting, anyway.
PS
What have Sam Fox's brain and Martech's marketing people got in common? I'll let you work that one out for yourselves... The game itself is quite average, with old Sam playing a fair old game of poker for a 19 year old midget, but when she loses, the clothes fall and the temperature rises. It's all very stupid really; how anyone is expected to get excited over a bunch of pixels, a rather badly put together bunch of pixels at that. If someone offered me a choice between listening to Barry Leitch's Chicken Song or playing Sam Fox Strip Poker... I must admit I'd go for Strip Poker because it isn't that bad.
Verdict
Presentation 60%
Sufficient instructions and adequate use of joystick.
Graphics 49%
The definition of the cards is good, which is more than can be said for Sammy.
Sound 25%
The tunes are aurally obscene - they suit the game well.
Hookability 35%
Depends on how hard up you are.
Lastability 12%
Once you've seen all there is to see, you won't want to see them again.
Value For Money 12%
You could buy nearly 50 copies of The Sun for the same price.
Overall 16%
But certainly not sweet.