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Maybe it's because I'm a spineless, cowardly eight stone weakling that I can't get to grips with Peaksoft's game, S.A.S.

A more likely explanation is that it is a totally unplayable game.

S.A.S. is an army training simulation. You're the sole surviving member of an elite S.A.S. squad dropped behind enemy lines on an undercover mission to destroy the enemy's nerve centre.

First you must negotiate a minefield with the help of a stolen detector and a limited supply of hand grenades, while avoiding the scouting helicopter gun ships.

The game starts by asking you if you wish to have a briefing. I wish I hadn't.

Every single letter is printed individually and each screen takes several minutes to be filled. Even so, S.A.S. had me pulling on my jack boots and plastering my face with camouflage makeup in anticipation. The game promised startling hi-res graphics, armed patrols and night forays into enemy controlled areas.

But promises are made to be broken. The only startling thing about the graphics is their low quality. It's difficult to distinguish between a helicopter and an armed foot patrol.

I find it hard to believe the courage of some software companies (Peaksoft is a particularly good example) who try to palm off sub-standard games written in Basic on an unsuspecting public.

Who Dares Wines is an apt motto for Peaksoft but I hope the public votes this one a loser.