Dear Baron R K Von Wolfshield, we love your game Return Fire and would like to sign up for the war too! Love Fred PlayStation and Ted PC.

Yep, Return Fire. What a top 3DO game it is! We played it all the time when it first came out. And then we played it all the time, all over again, when the Maps O' Death extra levels came out. You just can't beat a good old-fashioned game of WAR! Zooming about in your military tonka trucks, blowing the nuggets out of the enemy and leaving treadmarks in their skull-less face sacs.

No better way to kill a few hours. Ahahahaha! And now we've got a good excuse to do it all again, thanks to the release of Return Fire on PlayStation and PC.

Get the enemy flag! That's all you gotta do. Of course, it's easier said than done, as first you have to fight your way into enemy territory, and second you have to find the stinkin' flag! That said, it's not as much of a chore as we've just made it sound. In fact, it's brilliant fun wiping out enemy property, all the more so in two-player mode, when it's your "friend's" base.

It wouldn't be a Return Fire review if we didn't mention the music. As with the 3DO version, superb classical tunes accompany the action. Amongst others, there's The Ride Of The Valkyries for the helicopter (naturally), The Flight Of The Bumblebee for the jeep, and The William Tell Overture when you get the flag. Majestic stuff!

We wouldn't like to trivialise war. Nope, we leave that to the programmers of Return Fire! There are little touches of black comedy that really add to the proceedings. Blow up a building and men flee from it, yelling and throwing grenades. No problem-o. Just steer in their direction and crush them like ants. Mwa-ha-ha-haaa!

Easily the best feature of Return Fire is the two-player option. The objective is the same as before, only this time it's a race against time to beat your opponent. Rather than just heading for the flag though, you soon find yourself attempting to thwart your opponent, Dick Dastardly-style!

One of my favourite games from my youth was Firepower on the Amiga. I don't know if anyone else remembers it, but Return Fire is near identical.

Not that I mind, 'cos it's ace! The blend of action, strategy and thrilling tension as you race for home, is the cause of much screaming and palpitations in this office (normally from me, 'cos that little gront Lomas always wins!).

Thankfully, Baron Wolfshield's 3DO original has been left untampered for its PC and PlayStation fitting. The simple, yet neatly detailed, graphics suit the game perfectly, as does the thundering music. And I guarantee, you'll play it for hours in versus mode. The possibilities for scuppering your opponent's plans are endless!

I've even driven my jeep out into the sea (using its inflatable tyres) to hide my flag there. Not that it worked. Simply one of the best two-player games around.

A perfect combination of destruction, filthy cunning and devilish humour make this one of the best two-player games ever made. Up there with Micro Machines 2 - a total classic!