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"Ham tot zoglo hulu hulu," as they say on Saturn. And let us give thanks to Exxos one big heap for what he has seen fit to bestow on the meagre world of humanoid sport.

No more running up and down strips of astroturf trying to kick an inflated plastic sphere into a net for us, no sirree. Never again the rigours of hitting leather balls with lumps of willow. For today is Purple Saturn Day, the one day in the calendar when the planet turns a royal purple (A sort of purple reign?), and heavy duty action is here to stay.

What we have here is a mind-twisting, finger-flexing, synapse-snapping, stargazing, time-jumping, death-defying, species-specific, rip-snorting, gut-wrenching, nerve-jangling, hair-raising, full-blooded charge for glory in the ultimate sporting contest. All this and more has to be endured if you are to win that prize of prizes, the goal of goals [Oh, all right, Webb, get on with it! - Ed], a kiss from the Purple Saturn Princess.

Once every year, the brave, the reckless and plain crazy from every planet in the known universe gather to challenge each other in a battle of wits, intuition and guts: a slalom pursuit through the rings of Saturn, a head-to-head on trionic sliders, a race to rebuild a gigantic brain and eventually capture enough stars to hurl you beyond the bounds of time itself.

This is a breathtaking drag race through the rings of Saturn, asteroids and all! You must circumnavigate the planet keeping the correct side of wrecked space craft marker buoys. Points are gained for good flying and lost for bad. If you're in the lead and overshoot one of the gates you score points for the opposition!

Such a dry mechanical description, though, is an injustice. The biggest clanger is not collision, but getting carried away by the speed you travel. Joysticks get a bashing, being wrenched from, side to side in a desperate bid to keep on course, the ship travelling faster than a mere human could ever react.

Luckily the craft are tough, surviving direct hits from debris, so it's not a matter of staying alive but staying ahead on points. But even if all is lost, wind it up and dive into the asteroids for one last blast at the ultimate reflex test. No average race, this is WEC Le Mans times a hundred with speeds to dazzle the eyes and obstacles to stretch the nerves.

Round two is the Trionic Slider test. Here you and your competitor are alone in a rink. Your ship spins on anti-grav axis allowing instant 180 degree turns as you both chase an energy ball. Once you've tracked it down the ball must be shot and the pieces collected.

As the game progresses more and more obstacles appear on the rink, preventing your mad, high-speed charges from side to side. Using the ship's instruments you soon learn to combine stealth with speed, caution with insane cornering and total spins to shake off the opposition. Trionic sliders are little dodgems for grown-ups with a taste for speed, but who play for keeps.

This is one of the ultimate tests for cerebral fitness. Using an electroball, you have to reactivate half a computer brain. 18 chips must be created from energy and current guided across them. To achieve this you must guide a charge by way of switches, condensers and resistors through a maze of circuitry.

To make life more difficult, you have six electrical pulses to control at once, and an eye must be kept on the other guy. because you can tamper with each other's circuitry. Curses fill the air as a whole bank of chips is deactivated in a few quick moves, or the enemy steals your condenser's power just when you really need it. You're forced to think of twelve things at once and still plan ahead. A mind twistingiy evil game even on the practice level, it makes boxing and juggling simultaneously seem easy.

The final contest is the Time Jump, a feat achieved by catching shooting stars to power your space catapult. As they scream past the cabin window, you guide your energy collector with crosshair sights. When the shower's over you winch up the old machine and launch into deep space. A good performance hurls you into hyperspace: the cabin inverts, the sky explodes in white light and you are left marvelling at the beauties of hyperspace (the better you play, the prettier the picture) while your score is totalled. Truly rapture of the void.

Purple Saturn Day's graphics are of a standard where each section could have been released individually. The stunning appearance is not merely cosmetic, though, because there are highly complex games here which stress gameplay and skill. The illustrations and animation grab you instantly and serve to bind the whole concept together. Incidental work reinforces the overall effect. As you charge around Saturn in the ring pursuit, for example, the planet spins gently and quietly. It serves no purpose other than squeezing the most out of the CPC's capabilities, a refreshing mark of pride in the programmer's work.

Purple Saturn Day is so much more than a mere compilation of space games. The tournament is complex enough to keep everything fresh for many Purple Days to come. Each species of alien, many of whom Captain Blood fans will already have met, has strengths and weaknesses which you can swot up on before a day's competition. Do this every game because the little devils actually evolve and develop new skills!

When, on one wonderful Purple Saturn Day you finally win, you'll see yourself in full colour in the arms of the beautiful Purple Saturn Princess receiving a great big wet smacker on the chops. The many defeats fade into the mists of time and you know it was all worthwhile.

I think I've just fallen in love with the Purple Saturn Princess. And Purple Saturn Day must be the most sophisticated game to appear on the CPC this year. These French programmers certainly know their stuff alright

There's so much to this game that you'll be playing it, like us, for months to come.

Reach level two.

Well, Green Saturn Day doesn't have quite the right ring about it, but it's still perfectly playable!

Graphics 99%
P. Simply awesome...
P. ...a truly stupendous achievement.

Sonics 78%
N. Quality music and effects.

Grab Factor 72%
P. Four very difficult games...
P. ...amusingly and informatively explained in the manual.

Staying Power 83%
P. Four games and eight constantly evolving competitors.

Overall 94%
P. A French revolution for games!