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Intergalactic games are set to become so advanced in the future that humans will no longer need to take part. Hold on, before you say "Yeah, yeah, so they use robots. So what?" Well, I'll tell you so what: they don't use robots. They use the new style spectator sport player. The mega intergalactic Psycho Pigs!

These porky creatures take part in a future-sport called 'UXB', an incredibly dangerous pastime, where the players fling timebombs at opponents in an attempt to splatter them all over the shop - hence the humans' lack of enthusiasm to take part.

In Psycho Pigs UXB, you must take the part of one of these porcine heroes, striving for survival in the shrapnel-strewn arena. You walk on, the ref-pig blows his whistle... and the contest begins!

Bombs are picked up by walking over them and are thrown in the required direction by pressing the fire button. Once released, the timer on the bomb begins to tick down. If it reaches zero... Boom! ... and it's bacon butties all round. If a pig catches a bomb, the timer goes straight to zero, and the holder is blown off the face of the screen. Occasionally, when a pig explodes, an icon is dropped. When collected, these give extra powers such as a bomb-proof suit, extra throwing strength, a hyperbomb (which clears the screen) and a pig freeze (stops the enemies from moving).

If your piggy alter-ego is enough of a cool froody-dude to clear a number of screens, you may enter the bonus level. This consists of sows popping up from a series of intergalactic mudholes - you must give them a big sloppy kiss (by pressing the fire button) before they pop back down again.

What this game is most likely to be noted for is the slightly dubious advertising. The name of the game is soft enough in the first place without having a sort promotion campaign. Unfortunately, the ad's reference to the 'reviews of Psycho Pigs UXB' are no particular cause of concern, as the review you're reading thinks it's merely average.

The game itself is fun for a short while but there just doesn't seem to be enough meat (sic!) to it. The action is rather repetitive and a little too easy to give any lasting appeal: just think of the amount of bacon sarnies you could buy for a tenner!

They may not be much fun but, ultimately, they're more satisfying.

Well, I quite liked it. Being a sucker for silly tunes and even sillier gameplay elements, I was immediately attracted. Basically, there isn't that much to it, and what there is, is all very easy - but the inanity of it all I found appealing. I found the ad a bit repulsive, since it wasn't in any way directly related to the game it was advertising - but there we are; if you buy this game because of the ad, that's your look-out.

Anyway, the computer sexism debate goes on but so much this comment...

The backgrounds are all a single colour, which only make the simplistic pig sprites look worse. The only variation is the initial number and positioning of bombs - not overly interesting and not likely to compel a gamesplayer of 1988. The bonus stage music is the only thing of real quality in Psycho Pigs UXB, the game as a whole being mildly interesting porcine-bombing fun with little lastability.

Only for idiots like me who like stupid tunes and hatstand game elements.

So this is Psycho Pigs UXB, eh? I wasn't at all surprised to discover that it doesn't feature an overweight page 3 girl but perhaps the least said about that piece of software sexism the better.

Apparently, this is converted from a coin-op - obviously a very obscure one. The gameplay is ridiculously simplistic: just chunk a few bombs around, dodge others, and wait until, more from luck than judgement, all your multi-coloured piggy opponents have been fried.

The bonus stage is equally straightforward but at least the frantic music adds some urgency to the pig-kissing (yuk!) proceedings. All of this changes very little from stage to stage so one game is all that's needed to see all there is on offer.

Coincidentally, my one-word overall opinion of Psycho Pigs UXB happens to lie in copious quantities at the bottom of pigsties. Small world, eh?

Presentation 52%
Not a lot really, just the basic layout and opinions.

Graphics 41%
Lots of colour, but there is an overall 'blocky' look to the game.

Sound 64%
No spot effects, but a number of pleasant ditties.

Hookability 73%
Quite good fun at first...

Lastability 39%
...but it is rather repetitive.

Overall 60%
Not bad for a few chuckles, but at ten pounds they're expensive ones.