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"Go 'un son. Nip darn tut shop and get 'ovis loaf wills ya. I'll put tut pigeons in tut loft and 'ed off darnt pit."

Sadly, that was the last sentence that Alf Ferreterrier murmured one typical working man's day. Not only was there another strike at the local mine, but a group of big burly wrestlers had marched in and started stomping on each other's intestines. Poor Alf stumbled into the brutal fight, and was just going to complain to the management about working conditions when a barrel was bounced off his cranium, knocking him stone dead. Of course this travesty was ignored by the remaining participants because in the savage 'sport' known as Pit-Fighter, the winner's the person who retains most of their blood and remains standing...

Before stepping into the gore-stained arena to dislodge your opponent's bones, you (and a friend if you wish) select one of three rugged combatants. Unfortunately, Alf isn't one of them as he's an imaginary person I invented purely to make the introduction a little novel. The boisterous brutes each have their own fighting style and unique Christian names. For instance, there's Buzz, a big wrestler who (as well as having an appalling scent of onions) likes hoisting felons over his head and slamming them down again. Kato dabbles in kickboxing and can't resist breaking someone's spine with a flipkick now and then, but Ty is a more reserved fellow. Modestly putting his thoughts of karate championships to the back of his mind, he took up freelance gardening. The old memories of brain-spilling refused to go away, so he stepped back into the pit for a good old punch-up.

When in the battleground, you pile into the meanest of foes, huge masked marauders, bare-chested knuckleheads and whip-wielding women. Punch, kick, and throw every bad body around (even your optional partner if you want a laugh) to gain the all-important necessity of life: money!

Extra energy is gained in the form of power pills which are scattered around every so often. It's these replenishments that help keep your player on his toes. Two players compete in a grudge match after every three fights, the first to bash the other down three times receiving a cash bonus. Being a ferocious, callous sort, money means everything. You can afford big mansions, swimming pools, private jets and even a bandage for your brusied ribs.

I was never a fan of the arcade version of Pit-Fighter. Unlike the majority of coin-up addicts, I thought the digitised graphics moved very sluggishly with the brawling becoming all too dismal. The graphics are captured brilliantly - they're not digitised but they're without doubt very sluggish!

The computer opponents casually stroll in one at a time to receive a hard kicking which makes for a very tedious, drawn out beat-'em-up. Granted, the two player punch action is sufferable if only on the strength of the grudge matches, but altogether it doesn't capture the essence of the hailed coin-op... if there was anything to hail in the first place, that is! 66%

The big selling point of this otherwise 'been there, seen that, done that' coin-op was its graphics. Digitised from animated piccies of real people, the arcade version was stunning to look at but somewhat less stunning to play.

Obviously, the C64 version had to dispense with the graphics, and consequently we are left with an uninspired and uninspiring fight game, incorporating unresponsive controls and very dozy opponents indeed.

Dash out and buy this immediately, but only if you're a mad lobster! 48%

Presentation 66%
Choice of fighters and two-player participation.

Graphics 50%
A definite brown theme, dollopy sprites.

Sound 67%
Favourable tinkles, few effects.

Hookability 67%
Smashing brainless heads soon grates...

Lastability 63%
...and un-challenging opponents bore.

Overall 57%