Overcrowded prisons? The continent of Ghold has come up with a novel solution: get all those lazy convicts working to earn enough money to buy their freedom. There's a choice of four careers: stone breaking, gluing paper bags, being a medical guinea pig or playing MUDS.

The latter stands for Mean Ugly Dirty Sport and is the most populat option. The game is a sort of violent cross between basketball and American football, with scoring achieved by throwing a flonk (a small pterodactyl-like creature which is open to bribery!) into the opposition's flonkpott.

Two teams of five play on a pitch divided into three sections: two defensive zones with a no man's land in-between. In front of each flonkpott there's a moat, infested with a hungry carnivorous creature - if you're brave enough to place the flonk in the pott by jumping across, you sore two points!

The rules of this 'sport' are simple: basically, you can do anything you like, hitting opponents, even starting a full-blown fight - except in no man's land where you can only tackle the ball-carrier (unless you've bribed the ref!). Substitutions can be made freely by calling a time-out and are often necessary to replace dead players - one way of winning the match is to decimate the opposition!

As coach of a MUDS team, you start out in the city of Gorden. Here you can book your players into a hotel, take injured players to the healer, bet on MUDS matches and visit inns (where you can buy drinks, bribe/hire opposing players or even start a massive punch-up!). Money can be borrowed from the bank or loan shark.

You can strengthen your squad by buying and selling players, which can be any of several races - the only limitation in selecting your five-player team is that you can't mix races within any of the three pitch sections.

If you play a full campaign, the objective is to beat each of four teams in four regions to win the Great Cup. This requires you to visit other cities, paying your taxes before you go! Matches can be played between one or two players against the computer, or even computer vs. computer. Two-player practice matches can also be played.

Violent sport, I love it! MUDS is a bit like American football without the complicated rules, i.e. you can go around hitting other players and starting punch-ups! You can even bribe the ref before the match!

Two-player games are a good laugh, with fights breaking out all over the pitch, but to get the most out of MUDS, you must play a full campaign. This is where some strategy comes in: trading players, bribing opponents for information, betting on matches, having a few bevvies, starting punch-ups, etc.

The trouble is, once the game's humorous novelty wears off, you're left with a simple beat-'em-up cum sports sim which lacks the varied scoring tactics of Speedball 2. It's great fun while it lasts though.

MUDS combines an enjoyable combat/sports game with a management side so sophisticated as to be an adventure, complete with bribery, slave trading, pub punch-ups and sixteen cities to visit.

Graphics are good throughout, with some attractive management pics and nice sprites - there's an amazing range of creatures, all quite tiny but superbly animated and boasting varying characteristics.

Actual on-pitch gameplay is a fairly straightforward mix of frenetic combat and mad dashes toward the flonkpott. Control can be a little fiddly with so much happening, even in the simple 'Nearest Player' mode; however the characterful animation and good presentation (such as the referee's hand gestures) make it all very entertaining.

Combined with the depth of the management game and great sense of humour, MUDS offers plenty of value for money. Although it lacks the strength of the easily accessible basic gameplay in Speedball 2, MUDS is bound to be a huge cult hit.

Presentation 87%
Free poster, humorous manual. One or two players (competitive or cooperative), savable full campaign, loads of statistics.

Graphics 74%
Characterful player sprites, pitch seems a bit empty though.

Sound 68%
Bombastic title tune, fanfares, adequate tackling and crowd FX.

Hookability 76%
Two-player games are fun and funny, though controls seem a bit fiddly at first.

Lastability 88%
Full campaign is a huge challenge with the strategy of trading players, bribing flonks, visiting new cities, etc.

Overall 79%
Good dirty fun.