Love is a many splendoured thing... unless you are being chased by Bionic Bertha in a Popeye-type game.

On a deserted harbour front, Cuddley Dudley is trying to catch the kisses blown by his sweetheart Luscious Lucy (who looks like Olive Oil on the cassette inlay and a sign on a ladies loo in the game). However, Bertha, your jilted, overweight ex. is out to inflict some GBH on her lost love Dud.

You have to catch sixteen pink hearts which float gently down from the top of the harbour. If you let your kisses sink through the floor, it breaks Lucy's heart and you lose a life. Being caught by your old flame and her rolling pin also costs you a life.

There are four levels to move about connected by ladders and steps but the top one is the only place where you can shake Bertha off your tail for long. Joystick control for climbing the steps is also difficult to master.

She is very persistent at dogging your path and therefore patterns of movement and kisses need to be learnt to succeed. This means the game becomes predictable and lacks variety where more screens would keep it interesting.

Completing a screen doesn't lead you to marital bliss but to the same harbour in which the kisses and Bertha are faster but you are slowing down.

Unfortunately, Luv Bug needs a bit more variation to keep me chasing after Lucy.