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When lush sloanie Lady Wilde and her daughter Penelope mounted the stairs of the Dan Air DC10 LA to Rio flight little did they know what adventures lay in store...

The plane was happily flying over the Amazon jungle with the passengers sipping on their Dan Air cocktails when the pilot calmly announced that all the engines had fallen off, but everything was under control. Now, the DC10 was a good old soul and had read all the books about Newton and his laws of gravity. 'Hmmm' said the plane in its own planey way, 'I have no engines: therefore I can't fly any more. I'd better fall down.' And it did, with all the style and panache a humble old DC10 could muster. The passengers, not to be outdone, joined in the party, strictly adhering to the laws of the Airport Films - screaming, ranting, raving and all that jazz. Just about the moment when everyone had really got going, the ground and the plane met with an almighty crash killing all the passengers but two - Lady Wilde and her daughter, although they were both knocked unconscious by the impact.

When LW awoke she found that her daughter was missing, but being proficient in deduction and the goings on in the Amazon, instantly came to the conclusion that Penelope had been kidnapped by the legendary Amazon women. So, grabbing a handy nearby club, off she went to find her dearly beloved child. She soon found the path which led to the Amazon's village and off down it she went. The road was busy with a constant traffic of weapon-wielding women patrolling up and down it. Hellbent on attacking the heroine, they did their best to bash her into submission so she could be wheeled away to a life of slavery.

The game is a scrolling beat em up reminiscent Tir Na Nog in its looks. You play the role of the good lady, who can move left or right, jump and duck, the landscape scrolling by as she goes on her travels. Using the club is accomplished by pressing the fire button in conjunction with moving the joystick right or to one of its adjacent diagonals. Using these options she can bang away at head, midriff or shin levels.

A scanner sits at the top of the screen, showing the location of any Amazon femmes on the road and just beneath it are two power bars, one for Lady Wilde and the other for an opponent. When fighting, one woman hitting the other results in energy being reduced from the recipient's bar until one of the fighters' energy reaches zero, whereupon she dies. Lady Wilde starts with three lives, but earns an extra one every 200,000 points.

The Amazon Women have different intelligence levels which increase as you delve deeper into the game and on later screens you can encounter women armed with swords and axes as well as clubs. If a woman armed with an axe or sword is defeated then their weapon may be picked up for later offensive use.

Throughout her travels the heroine is hampered by flying arrows winging along the road at floor level and head height. These have to be dodged - should they hit home the all British heroine loses some energy. The arrows also damage the Amazons, so dodge as many arrows as possible and hope that they hit the enemy.

The other danger in this game is time - the road to the village is split into ten sections, each section beginning and ending with a Voodoo icon. When Lady Wilde passes an icon she is given ten simulated minutes to reach the next one. If she manages to reach the goal, the remaining time is converted into points. If she doesn't, she loses one of her three lives.

I can't say I'm particularly impressed with this pretty average beat em up. The actual game scenario is minimal, walk along the road, meet woman, bash her up, walk some more, bash some more - dull really. There's no variation in the fighting either and it all becomes boring after a few plays. The graphics are pretty grotty with wobbly scrolling and glitchy arrows. The sprites are a complete Tir Na Nog rip-off and the sound is annoying and repetitive. If you've got ten quid to lob away I suppose you could do a lot worse, but there are loads of better games than this.

At first this game seems to resemble Tir Na Nog, but it is in fact a sort of Fighting Warrior with women. Whether this is to attract female games players, I don't know. But I can't see Legend of the Amazon Women appealing to anyone other than severely depraved and deprived beat em up fans. And I doubt there are very many about.

The graphics are awful but don't be put off by that, let the gameplay put you off - it's much worse, but don't forget the sound because that's another reason to not buy it. And what's more, the people who programmed it seem so proud of what they have done, Silvertime have plastered their name in every little nook and cranny they can and God knows why because it's awful. Heaven knows if I had ever done anything like this, the last thing I'd do is put my name on it. There must be something wrong with Ed Ringler. Legend of the Amazon Women is the best reason I've seen yet for saving your money.

Presentation 78%
No title screen to speak of and no options, but the game is nicely presented on screen.

Graphics 67%
Slightly jerky scrolling backdrops, but the sprites aren't too bad.

Sound 38%
Dull ditty which tunelessly murmurs away throughout the game.

Hookability 58%
The advert is likely to have caught your eye...

Lastability 41%
But the game is dull and repetitive.

Value For Money 43%
Not enough game for your money.

Overall 49%
Not much cop really, even ardent beat em up fans could become bored.