"Hello, good evening and welcome to the very first edition of this new BBC comedy quiz What Game Is It Anyway? And our guests tonight are Tony Slattery, Paul Merton and John Sessions. And if you'd like to look at your monitors please, Lloyd Grossman will guide us around the first game..."
"As we first enter this rather splendid game the first impression we have is definitely one of Tetris - there are coloured blocks that fall towards you which you have to arrange in lines to increase your score; all of which is very much in the style of the classic Russian puzzler.
"But these are subtly different. The blocks approach on a conveyor belt; you have to collect them in a bucket which can hold up to five blocks; you then move the bucket to drop the blocks in the desired position. Graphically, it is also very dissimilar, with much more colour and a feeling of 3D. In addition, there are goals to achieve to complete each level, such as forming five diagonals or scoring a certain number of points.
"So let's look at the evidence: blocks, lines, conveyor belts, that rather splendid bucket. What kind of a game is this? Over to you, David."
"Well Paul, what game do you think this is?"
"Innit marvellous, eh? Haven't got a clue what it is, but if it's got blocks it's bound to have some nonsensical title like Vlix, Pillox or Plax or something like that."
Rapturous applause from the audience.
"Does that give you a clue, Tony?"
"Not at all, but it does remind me that if you turn over to Channel 4, you'll catch me on..."
"Thank you, Tony. John, any idea?"
"I'll be delivering this answer in the style of a pretentious, windbag, one-joke, has-been perhaps, indeed, never-was, TV personality. Methinks it doth remind me the early cubist, proto-surrealist, pre-dadaist school of games. Unless I'm very much mistaken, which I rarely am, 'tis Klax, that classic, fast and furious puzzler, and verily, complete with three levels of difficulty."
Even more rapturous applause.
"Yes indeed, Klax it is. Let's welcome Klax out from behind the..." Fzzzz... click!
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