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Of all the dumb household objects in the known universe you had to go and become a kettle. Not your run-of-the-mill kettle, not a boring one with just a lid and a spout, but a really well-crucial job with rotorblades that whizz around faster than a Kenwood Chef!

An an "off the wall" kettle, you got a job as a freak to be exhibited at your local electricity shop (well - times are hard!). People travelled from miles around to see your rotorblades spin into life - you were a star! (In fact, you were in your element - sorry, couldn't resist that one). Fame is never easy though, and the other appliances in the shop grew to hate you, they were jealous of your popularity and teased you constantly; calling you names like 'old spinny head' and 'twitty twisty top'. One day, the situation became so unbearable that the microwave started bombarding you with rays, you could feel your body getting so hot that you were beginning to singe. In a moment of sheer panic you made your escape through the ventilator shaft, flying on and on until you finally made it out. And found yourself trapped in an underground complex full of peculiar creatures. Oh dear.

You must break free, and regain your fortitude if you are ever to make it back to the limelit world of fame and fortune.

The cavernous complex consists of thirty intricate levels, each becoming more difficult as you progress. On loading, the title screen gives way to a varied option menu that works as if icon controlled - you just move your little pointy stick around until you reach the desired option. For kettles amongst you that feel a little adventurous, you can choose your own starting point (on either level one or, alternatively, on level four). If you manage to progress further than level four, then a third option will be displayed as your new starting point. And so off we go.

Down in the caverns Kettle has befriended a Crizza, a stupid lifeform, so stupid in fact that it can be persuaded, by a kettle, to become its personal bodyguard, and will go into any situation to make the way clear for him. To find his way out, Kettle must open all the linking valves between the caverns by using the can-openers which are, unfortunately, located inside bubble-emitting bowels. Poor old fatty Kettle can't get inside these however, so he must send Crizza forward to smash them open - once he has rammed them ten times they break, allowing Kettle to get inside and whip the can-opener out.

Armed with his trusty fellow kitchen appliance, Kettle can then proceed onto the valve which opens automatically, allowing him to continue his journey. However, there isn't a can-opener inside every bowel, sometimes they contain a nasty 'n' mean Kettle eating space monster (Bwah!). Of course, trusty old Crizza simply steps forward, hits these another ten times and Kettle's way is clear once again.

There is an option to play a two player game. Here, a split-screen view is provided to allow you to monitor your opponent's progress and to help him, hinder him or just keep a watchful eye on him, so that when he's done all the work you can collect the goodies. The game finishes when Kettle bites the dust by scraping his bottom along the floor too much, or else of course if he escapes to freedom. So, everything should be fine as long as there are no power cuts, or no-one fancies a quick cuppa during the adventure...

It took only a few plays to convince me that Kettle is dull. The title screen music is neat, but the graphics are quite bland and match the gameplay, which is simple and repetitive.

Kettle could so easily have been a superb game if there was more to it than simply flying around shooting bowels and avoiding the occasional nasty. Very tedious. Hopefully Tony's next game, Moebius Strip, will have more to offer.

An interesting game, but ultimately a pretty boring one. Flying around shooting the bowels is quite good fun at first, but once you've shot so many, boredom sets in.

There's no real variety in the gameplay, even with two players, and excitement is also lacking. Even the backdrops are repetitive. The music isn't too bad, but there isn't enough in the game to keep you enthralled.

Okay, fair enough, Mr. Crowther's comment that "You've never seen a game like this before" is quite true. I never have, and after this effort I don't think I want to ever again.

The concept is there; it's just that it hasn't been developed to its full potential. Apart from the jazzed up Polly Put The Kettle On music, it's basically a poor product and you wouldn't catch me splashing out nine quid on it.

Presentation 69%
Simple title screen and several options.

Graphics 42%
Lacking in variety and colour.

Sound 78%
Competent rendition of Polly Put The Kettle On. Reasonable in-game tune and spot FX.

Hookability 46%
Unusual, but quite tedious.

Lastability 29%
Lots to explore but little to enthral.

Value For Money 30%
Too repetitive to be worthwhile.

Overall 35%
A potentially exciting concept which has been poorly executed.