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Alligata have introduced a new angle on computer games with their latest title. It is called Jack Charlton's Match Fishing and they obviously hope that you will have a whale of a time playing it and that a guppy of the game will find a plaice in every home, providing critics like myself don't carp on too much, and offer a ray of hope.

It had occurred to me when I first saw the game at the Commodore shoal, that fishing is not suitable subject for a computer game but Alligata (and not Ocean) are following up with board game and microfiche (to go with the microchip) versions.

The games feature a turbo loader so you only have a minnow or two to wait for pictures to a pirahna screen. It is however prawn to failure but don't worry, the game is the salmon both side of the tape.

The porpoise of the game is to catch as many fish as possible. You have your net and you must fillet. Fishermen line up in a roe waiting with baited breath as they tackle the task in hand. The tension mounts as they perch by their own pegs, trying not to encroach on their opponents' space. There is not a great deal of sound, so you won't need a herring aid. What music there is, isn't exactly played by the Halle but it is OK. Composed by Julian Bream and played by Rod Steward and his sole group "The Floaters", it features that well-known tuna "Whale Kipper Whelkhome in the Eelside" with lots of bass. The mainstream program has obviously used very last byte and nibble of the memory.

So there you have it. The whiting's on the wall. Mullet over and don't be shellfish or crabby. Get your skates on and buy a guppy. Don't stickleback on the shelf. Its only sick squid (nett), so you won't have to buy an illegal guppy from a shark.

Get a grouper friends round and barracuda the door so you won't be disturbed. The game is above parr, and if you play effishently, you will put the other flounders t'rout.

Fin.

PS. There's no truth in the rumour that Eecaan goes nuclear fission!