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Hello, girlies! I bet you can't tell who I'm meant to be. I'm wearing a wellington boot on my head, I've just drunk 14 pints of 1080° lager, and I've just piddled in your hat. Give up? Hah! Knew you would! Hooargh! Oh dear, I seem to have lost me coleslaw into the front of your trousers. Pardon me. Uuuurrrppp! Yes, it's Ade The Bastard, and he's back in his own game, based on the megabrilliant book, How To Be A Complete Bastard.

Incidentally, the book has sold millions, which means now Ade's a slightly less than alternative comedian, being almost as rich as Tarby, Max-a-long-a-Byegraves, and Brucie all rolled into one.

In the game, you play the part of Ade, wandering around a yuppie house party, making yourself as unpopular as humanly possible in the shortest time. Berilliant! Make a mess, throw up, smash things, put sneezing powder up girlies noses, you know the sort of thing, eh readers? But don't open the umbrella you'll find in the umbrella stand, 'cos as everybody knows that's VERY BAD LUCK! And it'd be just your bad luck to be turned into a gas cooker if you do it! Hah hah!

The graphics are pretty good, with an original 4-way view of the room, where you see two views at a time, and can select which of the four views occupy which of the two windows. (Huh? Ed) Which is handy if you can't see which way you're going, as you can turn one of the views to search for a door. One funny thing is if you gulp down a large alcoholic drinkie, the bottom of the two windows spins round very fast as if you were sozzled.

Hmm. It's such a laugh to be really disgusting, innit? And really so utterly predictable after all these years, eh? But I'm sure that if you like the 'Ade The Utter Bastard' sense of 'humour' you'll really enjoy this wacky and very alternative game. Honestly. No, really you will... Look, buy it, you scum, or I'll eat your HAMSTER! (Chomp!)

A routine arcade-adventure based on the bestselling book. Not for the weak of stomach.