Amstrad Action


How To Be A Complete Bastard

Author: Gary Barrett
Publisher: Virgin Games
Machine: Amstrad CPC464/664/6128

 
Published in Amstrad Action #40

How To Be A Complete Bastard

Deep down, there's a part to most of us that just loves to be nasty to people, and being rude and obnoxious is one of the most common methods. If that sounds like your idea of a good time, or your idea of a great scenario for a CPC game, then you may get some satisfaction from playing this game. And if you're too shy to be nasty, ask them to put the game in a brown paper bag when you buy it and then play it in secret.

The story goes that you have gatecrashed a yuppie party and you want the place to yourself. The only way to do that is by driving the guests away and what better way than by being a real barsteward to them. Around the split view playing area are four meters: drunkometer, weeeometer, fartometer, smellometer and your score. No explanation of the meters is necessary, and indeed they give a good indication of the level of humour in the game: i.e. bottom level (pun intended). To know whether HTBACB is for you, try this simple test: say those four meter names out loud. Did you laugh? If you did, then you'll love the game. If you didn't, congratulations: you're a member of the human race.

You have at your disposal three essential items in infinite supply: curry, alcohol and coffee. One helps build up your gas power, another gets you drunk and the last sobers you up.

How To Be A Complete Bastard

All over the house are objects you can cause mischief with. They range from the humble hammer and meagre match to the sadistic superglue (for the loo) and cunningly concocted custard pie. Some things - itching powder for example cause a guest to leave, but they come back after a while, whereas the super-glue in the loo trick, not surprisingly takes the guest out forever (what a way to go!). When a guest leaves, one of the letters at the bottom of the screen lights up and if all sixteen are illuminated then you've won the game.

The room graphics are fairly dull and all look very similar. The sprites themselves wander around badly and are poorly drawn. On the title screen, there's a good tune but in the game all you're likely to hear are farting sounds.

If you don't like yuppies, love to drink, enjoy making rude noises with various parts of your anatomy and have two quid to spare then you can do far worse than buy this game.

First Day Target

How To Be A Complete Bastard

Make five guests leave.

Important Warning

Remember, kids, Adrian only gets away with swearing because he's a Lovable Rogue. Don't imitate him: swearing at home could seriously damage your pocket money.

Tasteless Jokes

Vom Graphics 49%
Dull and boring rooms.
Badly animated sprites.

How To Be A Complete Bastard

Farting Sonics 42%
It farts.

Puke Factor 67%
Unsuitable for those of a delicate disposition.
Being obnoxious is fun for several games...

Smelling Power 53%
Wears a bit thin though after a while.
Driving all the guests away is no simple matter.

Overall 72%
Juvenile humour, but great fun for £2.

Gary Barrett

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