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"Eat white hot laser death, alien slime sucker," pilots were heard to mutter as the briefing concluded. The Gemini Wing pilots were incensed, and you can see why, because just about the whole of creation had declared war on Earth - and all because of a joke! To make matters worse, it would definitely ruin their chances for a quiet weekend as well.

Admitted, it wasn't the best joke you've ever heard. One Tuesday the news had been slow, so some creative journalism at the Soonday Spirit had been called for. They hit upon the headline "Die Alien Mutant Scum!" Though it was only a prank, and little worse than a lot of what scumbag tabloid so-called "journalists" do all day every day, for some inexplicable reason, it irritated those green scaly items so much they promptly declared their intention to wipe the smile off our faces, and our faces off the Cosmos. Being a peace-loving race, we humans relished the chance to try out some new hardware on a full sized set of space invaders.

The Gemini Wing project has just been completed, a fearsome new battle craft that can turn the war in our favour and have us home in time for tea. The Aliens, it appears, were too busy landing B-52 bombers on the moon and doing strange things with Hitler clones to notice its development. Now their fleets marshall above our heads and our new wings are all a flutter, because the bug eyes have one big surprise waiting for them, Earthside.

The Gemini Wing is a revolution in the science of blowing other living beings into small smouldering pieces. It fires and moves the same way as any ordinary ship, but if you pull back on the joystick us you fire, a superweapon is unleashed. "So what?" the populace cried! "We've all played R-type!" But with the Gemini series, the weapons include such darlings as "The Windscreen Wiper Of Death".

So it's down into the trenches and to war. The nasty bug-eyed aliens swoop down across the surface of the planet spreading doom and death. Living pill box maggots dig in quickly, and flies the size of small trucks patrol the airways. The Gemini pilots are miffed: for a start, death and destruction is their forte, and secondly the aliens seriously clash with the wallpaper.

The corps battle cry - "Die alien mutant scum!" - echoes through your radios as you charge down on your foes. The first few are easily dispatched in standard fire mode and drop to the floor in the shape of gunballs. Curious, as any vengeance crazed fighter pilot would be, you fly over their remains and find they stick to your tail. Pull that trigger and yank your joystick back to find out what effect this has. The colour and design of the corpses (or gunballs as they've now become) determine the effect. Normal blue gunballs give you three way shots, some circling defenders, others a curtain of fire that cleanses all in its path. The best by far, though, is the aforementioned Wiper Of Death. Waving in front of you, it forms a chum of fireballs that roasts everything you touch. Righteous action indeed for the Gemini pilots of xenophobe battalion.

Your opponents come thick (they must be dense to try it on with a Gemini Fighter!) and fast. Some of the off-world creatures buzz down and are easily swatted with a quick squeeze of the trigger, but many need a specific sort of shot to fry their evil invading insides. So it's time to look to your ever growing tail, which waves majestically behind you, and use a ball. You've no choice as to which you release but firing off two or three at once does the trick. Used at the right moment, your tail can turn a humble trench into cemetery central. Just love this job or what?

As you progress toward the end of level one you meet more and more Things From Another World, such as the flying beast which spawns small scorpions. Shoot these boys instantly! Leave them more than a couple of sees and the scorps are homing in on your port side: and when they bite, they kill!

The craft is easily controlled but it's the co-ordination of shooting and collecting gunballs that's difficult - the dead alien mutant scum invariably fall on the other side of the screen. Similarly when you're trying to dodge shots the waggling tail distracts you temporarily from wreaking megadeath. The colours tend to mask some of the foreign fiends from your view, which results in a nasty surprise when they finally pop up.

On the plus side, though, completing a level once gets you a password to the next stage. In a similarly pleasant vein, being shot means you just lose a life and all your hard won balls. You restart from the place you got zapped, so it's possible to grab 'em back off the floor and start again.

Gemini Wing is a refreshing change from the hi-tech norm, and brings new interests and challenges to the world of CPC blasting. Following Silkworm, the re-launched Virgin Games label is showing something of a real shoot-'em-up pedigree. So if the aliens and evil beings of this universe want a fight, they've got one. The Gemini Wings are fuelled up and ready to roll, 'cause it ain't so much a war out there, just a party. And we're ready to rock.

Gemini Wing won't win awards for originality, but what the heck... it's great fun anyway! I'm not usually the world's greatest shoot-'em-up fan - I like something with a little more to it - but I must admit to having spent more time playing this one than I really needed to. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Complete level one.

Invisible alien scum - not recommended in green.

Graphics 73%
P. Bright and bold.
N. A tad shaky?

Sonics 53%
P. Underwhelming.

Grab Factor 67%
P. Tough to start.
P. And fun too.

Staying Power 84%
P. Gets difficult quickly.
P. Seven layers of mayhem.

Overall 81%
An original shootout with a humorous plot.