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Hold on while I change out of my garter belt to write this review, readers! Two games, Jungle Adventure and Diamond Quest come under the collective title of "Games For Girls" and were written by M. Sherlock and B. Bartis, who could be male or female for all I know.

Keith passed on these games to me for review at a party he held to celebrate the launch of his book. Feeling rather upset at such a slur on my masculinity, I trotted round to my friend Julian Crouch, to have a look at them.

I have to mention Julian because he is is who has a Spectrum, on which they run, but more importantly, because I have recently discovered he is related to the Editor and I want to keep this job!

From reading the cassette inlays, I had an idea that these games might be, um, bad. "We think Diamond Quest will particularly appeal to girls because the graphics are bright and colourful, and monsters do not appear!" Ten out of ten for the most patronising blurb and worst-looking inlay - who wants to look at a pink inlay with animals in pastel colours?!

The first game we tried was Jungle Adventure. You are cast as an African girl who must make her way home from school. Home is in the middle of the jungle.

Words fail me at this point! It is the most boring Spectrum game I have ever played. It isn't an adventure, it isn't an arcade game - what it is, I'll never know!

The second tape was Diamond Quest, which is much better and seems to have been well thought out. Even so, the game has a vocabularly of precisely fourteen words. Watch out, Infocom.

The idea behind this game is to try to find the diamond treasure which is hidden in a palace. The graphics are quite good but, again, to call this an adventure is a gross overstatement. It is merely a maze game. So... I think I'll stick to my knitting!

Games For Girls comes from Laser Computer Simulations Ltd, for the 48K Spectrum, and cost £5.95 and £4.95 respectively.