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Mastertronic have been producing some excellent games lately and I suppose the run had to come to an end somewhere. This is it. As football games go, it's one of the worst I've seen. It doesn't even deserve a 99p pricetag, never mind the £2.99 it's costing.

It follows the familiar pattern of other football games, but with less impressive graphics and gameplay. The pitch is viewed from the side and is composed of three screens, a goal at each end. The teams have five players each (seems logical for five-a-side football) with one player as the goalkeeper, who can't be moved out of the box around the goal.

You control one player. You can either leave it to the computer to choose which or select him yourself by cycling through the players on screen. You can compete either against the computer or against a mate. Either way, there isn't much variety to the playing action. The computer plays very predictably; although it will score goals you can easily put away more.

The pitch is narrow. Because the rules are five-a-side, there aren't any corners, throw-ins or any other set pieces.

The gameplay consists of getting behind the ball and booting it forward a few times; if you're lived up with the goal you just have to keep kicking and it will go in. The opposition will do likewise. To stop them, you just have to run past them, turn around and run head-on into the relevant player, kicking wildly.

If enemy action gets close to the goal, control switches to your keeper but it's usually too late to do anything about a goal being scored.

The graphics are chunky and garish and the gameplay very monotonous. A rather sorry product, and the sooner it's forgotten the better.

Dear me. Once upon a time, Mastertronic had a reputation for producing cheap trash. Through hard work and strict quality control, they cleared their name and showed the world that cheap needn't mean nasty. Another game as miserably bad as this one though, another one unspeakably awful, and they'll be right back to square one.

Beat the computer by five goals.

Visibility problems are really neither here nor there - I mean, the game is a complete hole in the ground.

P. There'll be a lot of goals scored.

N. Chunky, garish graphics.
N. Predictable computer opponent.
N. Boring gameplay.
N. No other options or features except a two-player game.